I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride, for the promise of new life
And I surrender
All to You, all to You
I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You, for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in your pain
-Surrender, Justin McRoberts
It is all yours God. I hope one day, that nothing can be held to my name, except you.
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Thursday, December 19, 2002
im beginning to think that some people seek to create excessive drama in their lives...
actually im pretty sure ive done it a lot too... hehe oh well, i wonder why we do it...
actually I know why I did, it was something to occupy my time and emotions, something for me to invest myself in because there wasnt much in this world that seemed worthy of all of me.... and ive realized... there is NOTHING of this world that is world that will satisfy... its all jsut a temporary phase.
it's time to move on to bigger and better things ^^.
"you give and take away, you give and take away
but my heart will choose to say...
Lord blessed be your name"
-Blessed Be Your Name, Matt Redman
actually im pretty sure ive done it a lot too... hehe oh well, i wonder why we do it...
actually I know why I did, it was something to occupy my time and emotions, something for me to invest myself in because there wasnt much in this world that seemed worthy of all of me.... and ive realized... there is NOTHING of this world that is world that will satisfy... its all jsut a temporary phase.
it's time to move on to bigger and better things ^^.
"you give and take away, you give and take away
but my heart will choose to say...
Lord blessed be your name"
-Blessed Be Your Name, Matt Redman
Monday, December 16, 2002
hallelujah, hallelujah...
your love makes me sing
hallelujah, hallelujah
your love makes me sing!
- hallelujah, by i forgot who
im home now from my first semester at college, and i feel good...
"do you really think God brought you this far just to drop the bomb now?"
these words couldnt have applied more.
things to do this winter break...
1. practice guitar
2. do lots of works on audio drops
3. most important serve Him as much as I can
your love makes me sing
hallelujah, hallelujah
your love makes me sing!
- hallelujah, by i forgot who
im home now from my first semester at college, and i feel good...
"do you really think God brought you this far just to drop the bomb now?"
these words couldnt have applied more.
things to do this winter break...
1. practice guitar
2. do lots of works on audio drops
3. most important serve Him as much as I can
Monday, December 09, 2002
keep my heart pure
and my ways true
as i follow you ...
keep me humble
and i'll stay mindful
of your mercies lord.
-day after day, tim hughes
everyone please pray for me, that i fufill my duties as a student and that I remember if I follow Him, everything else will fall into place. The only question I have is, will it make up for all the mistakes that have occurred already? Only time will tell I suppose.
and my ways true
as i follow you ...
keep me humble
and i'll stay mindful
of your mercies lord.
-day after day, tim hughes
everyone please pray for me, that i fufill my duties as a student and that I remember if I follow Him, everything else will fall into place. The only question I have is, will it make up for all the mistakes that have occurred already? Only time will tell I suppose.
Saturday, December 07, 2002
The following track is just to sum up what it's been like for the past couple years. These are old issues though, not anything I'm struggling with anymore ^^. But it was still a good theme to put to audio, so Dong Jin 03 and I did.
Title:One Sided Love
Beat: Auditory
Lyrics: Dong Jin 03 & MajaFlavaz
Download Here.
Hook:
If I only had the chance id take it up/
Cuz I feel like its been delayed enough/
Id be the first to admit and say its tough/
To be the only side in this game of love/
Verse1:
The first time we met… the sparks never flew
But my mind cleared a way to let ya through
I told myself she was just a friend and nothing would happen
Now my conscience is laughing, and the notes you wrote me im grasping
And im asking myself what should I do…
To be the one that's good enough to stand beside you
Got no way out but through the door that I entered
Trying to get around it but being too self centered
I lent her a hand whenever she needed it
My heart was cut open and its still bleeding kid
And its been a while now since I been liking you
Was on a one way road, but now I'm spitting on the mic to prove
That I was the one for you but the chances flew away
Now its hard for me to go through a simple day
And when you talked to other guy I got heated then
But cooled off remembering that you're not my girlfriend
Hook
Verse2:
it never took long for you to grab my attention/
you caught my eye, spoke to me, made a lasting impression/
then you offered me your compassion and friendship/
so you got to me, i know you didnt have that intention/
after a while, you could say that i was pressed/
id always talk about you thinking "dag she's the best"/
i remember doing the small things to have you impressed/
but holding back it all so its the last thing you'd guess/
maybe i was good at dreaming but bad at the rest/
i was too scared to share all that i had in my chest/
id look in random places hoping we'd pass as we'd go/
or id sit and wish you called, so we could chat on the phone/
there were times when i wanted you so badly to know/
I would have been your man, yes, gladly fo sho/
i made sure everything was passively shown/
but I guess, that its just where you had me you know?/
Hook
Verse3:
so dong jin, man we gotta get our message heard/
after all this, what do you think’s the lesson learned/
I think the message was heard, and the message is learned/
if you fail this test ya'll learn, and the more points that you'll earn/
word, but one thing to know bout the way of romance/
understand, its not the woman that makes you a man/
tru taht kid, but you gotta think of it this way/
with a girl by your side it can enlighten his day/
yea, so lets continue to wait this out and face the world/
in the end god will erase our doubts with an amazing girl/
amen to that, know God will alwayz provide for the needy/
hint is to not be greedy, i know if I'm patient then he'll feed me/
I hope all our brothers heard and know it now/
its time to go man, why don’t you close this out/
im close this out maja and this is waht its about/
I hope everyone got something out of this without a doubt/
Title:One Sided Love
Beat: Auditory
Lyrics: Dong Jin 03 & MajaFlavaz
Download Here.
Hook:
If I only had the chance id take it up/
Cuz I feel like its been delayed enough/
Id be the first to admit and say its tough/
To be the only side in this game of love/
Verse1:
The first time we met… the sparks never flew
But my mind cleared a way to let ya through
I told myself she was just a friend and nothing would happen
Now my conscience is laughing, and the notes you wrote me im grasping
And im asking myself what should I do…
To be the one that's good enough to stand beside you
Got no way out but through the door that I entered
Trying to get around it but being too self centered
I lent her a hand whenever she needed it
My heart was cut open and its still bleeding kid
And its been a while now since I been liking you
Was on a one way road, but now I'm spitting on the mic to prove
That I was the one for you but the chances flew away
Now its hard for me to go through a simple day
And when you talked to other guy I got heated then
But cooled off remembering that you're not my girlfriend
Hook
Verse2:
it never took long for you to grab my attention/
you caught my eye, spoke to me, made a lasting impression/
then you offered me your compassion and friendship/
so you got to me, i know you didnt have that intention/
after a while, you could say that i was pressed/
id always talk about you thinking "dag she's the best"/
i remember doing the small things to have you impressed/
but holding back it all so its the last thing you'd guess/
maybe i was good at dreaming but bad at the rest/
i was too scared to share all that i had in my chest/
id look in random places hoping we'd pass as we'd go/
or id sit and wish you called, so we could chat on the phone/
there were times when i wanted you so badly to know/
I would have been your man, yes, gladly fo sho/
i made sure everything was passively shown/
but I guess, that its just where you had me you know?/
Hook
Verse3:
so dong jin, man we gotta get our message heard/
after all this, what do you think’s the lesson learned/
I think the message was heard, and the message is learned/
if you fail this test ya'll learn, and the more points that you'll earn/
word, but one thing to know bout the way of romance/
understand, its not the woman that makes you a man/
tru taht kid, but you gotta think of it this way/
with a girl by your side it can enlighten his day/
yea, so lets continue to wait this out and face the world/
in the end god will erase our doubts with an amazing girl/
amen to that, know God will alwayz provide for the needy/
hint is to not be greedy, i know if I'm patient then he'll feed me/
I hope all our brothers heard and know it now/
its time to go man, why don’t you close this out/
im close this out maja and this is waht its about/
I hope everyone got something out of this without a doubt/
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
The first leaves off the tree
The way you look at me
A thousand chiming church bells ring
The simple things are free
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are
The thunder and the rain
The way you say my name
After all the clouds go by
The simple things remain
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are
- the simple things, Jim Brickman & Rebecca Lynn Howard
Lord, my timing may be off. But thankyou for your SINGLE, SIMPLE promise to always love me. Thank you so much. I will do my best to have the faith, that as long as I push as hard as I can, you will make up for the shortcomings.
The way you look at me
A thousand chiming church bells ring
The simple things are free
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are
The thunder and the rain
The way you say my name
After all the clouds go by
The simple things remain
The sun, the moon, the stars
The beating of two hearts
How I love the simple things
The simple things just are
- the simple things, Jim Brickman & Rebecca Lynn Howard
Lord, my timing may be off. But thankyou for your SINGLE, SIMPLE promise to always love me. Thank you so much. I will do my best to have the faith, that as long as I push as hard as I can, you will make up for the shortcomings.
Sunday, December 01, 2002
Saturday, November 23, 2002
If I had wings I'd fly
If I could find a way
Give me the faith I'll try
No, no matter what it takes
I long to be by Your side
To show You my heart is true
If I had wings, oh, I would fly to You
Tell me, won't You tell me
What is it gonna take
Help me, can't You help me
Take my heart for heaven's sake
I see the way You do me
In spite of the things I've done
My heart is saying to me
Look at what Your love has begun
I won't give up
On what I believe
When I could not reach heaven
Heaven came to me
How I long to be there beside You
Gimme half a chance and I would try to
If I could, You know that I would
I would fly to You
- Fly to You, Avalon
(thanks to irene for the song suggestion)
----
i was blessed with the oppurtunity to go to my old church's lock in last night. i'm really glad i went. although, listening to my old pastor's sermons, interacting with my old friends and so on and so forth... i realized how different a youth and college ministry is...its basically a level of maturity and a shifting of priorities when it comes down to it. not that its a bad thing, its just means that they have even more potential room to grow spiritually, physically, and mentally.
the funny thing about it, that despite how well ive adjusted, despite the great experience of starting all over, with a new set of core friends, core brothers and sisters to rely on... there was a moment at the lock in where i missed it all again. As time passed on here at UMBC, ive more and more adapted to being away from my old friends, and more and more adapted to my new environment. but it all hit me again, a weird mixture of emotions, just came over me at one point.
after we watched the movie angus, people kind of scattered off around the church, but within a short time, most of them had congregated in the worship room, and at first i was like, aw man, because i was kind of hoping most of the people would end up in the fellowship hall instead, so i could have an oppurtunity to catch up a little bit. anyhow, it was then the first twinges of nostalgia started to hit me. so i walked around the church, around the hallways, in the dark, by myself, i went into the main sanctuary, and kind of just paused to take it all in. i looked in the classrooms, just remembering it all, how i havent seen all of this in over two months when im used to seeing it every weekend since we moved there 3 years ago. and by this point, the music from the worship room was becoming more and more intense, so i went down to join everyone else and see wassup.
i entered, and there, almost everyone who had come to the lock in was there, and a good number of people, were gathered in the front, some playing the keyboard, some the bass, some the guitar, drums etc... and although perhaps they were worshiping more for the sake of fellowship, worship is still worship, the words dont change, and when they are all having so much fun worshipping, without a doubt im sure God is pleased. then i realized that my prior notion of wanting to just mingle in the fellowship hall rather then have a random jam worship session was rediculous. Its much better in the end to have people worship! So i came in, looked at everyone, sitting and chatting/worshipping, and those up in the front just letting go of it all and singing, I just became happy. So i just kind of slinked into a chair in the back, propped my feet up, and just watched them.
Heh, i felt like the old guy who sits in the back and just reminices, and that's kind of exactly what i was. although, not really OLD. just older. I watched everyone, studied them, looked at their faces, listened to their voices specificall, watched them play. I noticed how some have changed little in apperance, but others have definatelly grown up a little bit. I watched as a group of the sisters was just there arm in arm, bonding under the presence of God, while lifting up his name. The best part of it all, was that everyone was happy. That made me happy too. I didnt really feel like it was my place to join, so I just sat back, and listened. There were times when I even closed my eyes for a little bit just to listen. It's been quite a while since I've heard all of them singing together like that, and I missed it, I missed it a lot.
Gee, I kind of make sound everything sound so elegant, hah I forgot to point out the other aspects. Watching everyone goof around. That used to be me, being silly with all of them, probably because I liked making people laugh, and also cause I admit there's a part of me that enjoys the attention. But as i said, it didnt feel like it was my part to do so anymore. So i just watched, as they goofed off on the mic, or strained and struggled to sing the more difficult songs, or mess up on their instruments throwing everyone off, then everyone would just laugh. I laughed too, but not exactly for the same reasons. What was going on was funny, but my laughter was more of a way of expressing how much i miss doing what they were doing with them, yet how happy I am that they can still laugh together.
My old youth group isnt perfect, I make it sound like they are, but that's because as humans, we tend to make people/things/events grow fonder in our memories with time. But i know they are faults they have to work on, just like everyone else in this world. I'm glad they have Steve Jundo tho, because he desperately wants so much for the Youth to fix their mistakes and become a true body of christ. Its kind of funny, how I didnt really want the same thing for the Youth until I left it. Well, I guess in a way I wanted it before, but not as much as I do now. I pray that they take steve's efforts words to heart, because I realized why i respect that man so much. Because he seeks to be led by God as much as possible. And I know God has only the best of intentions for the youth. No matter what, no matter the shortcomings, I consider myself incredibly blessed to have everyone as my friend, as my brother or sister. I dont think I would have wanted it any other way. And, now, I think they are ready to really start running for God.
---
If I could find a way
Give me the faith I'll try
No, no matter what it takes
I long to be by Your side
To show You my heart is true
If I had wings, oh, I would fly to You
Tell me, won't You tell me
What is it gonna take
Help me, can't You help me
Take my heart for heaven's sake
I see the way You do me
In spite of the things I've done
My heart is saying to me
Look at what Your love has begun
I won't give up
On what I believe
When I could not reach heaven
Heaven came to me
How I long to be there beside You
Gimme half a chance and I would try to
If I could, You know that I would
I would fly to You
- Fly to You, Avalon
(thanks to irene for the song suggestion)
----
i was blessed with the oppurtunity to go to my old church's lock in last night. i'm really glad i went. although, listening to my old pastor's sermons, interacting with my old friends and so on and so forth... i realized how different a youth and college ministry is...its basically a level of maturity and a shifting of priorities when it comes down to it. not that its a bad thing, its just means that they have even more potential room to grow spiritually, physically, and mentally.
the funny thing about it, that despite how well ive adjusted, despite the great experience of starting all over, with a new set of core friends, core brothers and sisters to rely on... there was a moment at the lock in where i missed it all again. As time passed on here at UMBC, ive more and more adapted to being away from my old friends, and more and more adapted to my new environment. but it all hit me again, a weird mixture of emotions, just came over me at one point.
after we watched the movie angus, people kind of scattered off around the church, but within a short time, most of them had congregated in the worship room, and at first i was like, aw man, because i was kind of hoping most of the people would end up in the fellowship hall instead, so i could have an oppurtunity to catch up a little bit. anyhow, it was then the first twinges of nostalgia started to hit me. so i walked around the church, around the hallways, in the dark, by myself, i went into the main sanctuary, and kind of just paused to take it all in. i looked in the classrooms, just remembering it all, how i havent seen all of this in over two months when im used to seeing it every weekend since we moved there 3 years ago. and by this point, the music from the worship room was becoming more and more intense, so i went down to join everyone else and see wassup.
i entered, and there, almost everyone who had come to the lock in was there, and a good number of people, were gathered in the front, some playing the keyboard, some the bass, some the guitar, drums etc... and although perhaps they were worshiping more for the sake of fellowship, worship is still worship, the words dont change, and when they are all having so much fun worshipping, without a doubt im sure God is pleased. then i realized that my prior notion of wanting to just mingle in the fellowship hall rather then have a random jam worship session was rediculous. Its much better in the end to have people worship! So i came in, looked at everyone, sitting and chatting/worshipping, and those up in the front just letting go of it all and singing, I just became happy. So i just kind of slinked into a chair in the back, propped my feet up, and just watched them.
Heh, i felt like the old guy who sits in the back and just reminices, and that's kind of exactly what i was. although, not really OLD. just older. I watched everyone, studied them, looked at their faces, listened to their voices specificall, watched them play. I noticed how some have changed little in apperance, but others have definatelly grown up a little bit. I watched as a group of the sisters was just there arm in arm, bonding under the presence of God, while lifting up his name. The best part of it all, was that everyone was happy. That made me happy too. I didnt really feel like it was my place to join, so I just sat back, and listened. There were times when I even closed my eyes for a little bit just to listen. It's been quite a while since I've heard all of them singing together like that, and I missed it, I missed it a lot.
Gee, I kind of make sound everything sound so elegant, hah I forgot to point out the other aspects. Watching everyone goof around. That used to be me, being silly with all of them, probably because I liked making people laugh, and also cause I admit there's a part of me that enjoys the attention. But as i said, it didnt feel like it was my part to do so anymore. So i just watched, as they goofed off on the mic, or strained and struggled to sing the more difficult songs, or mess up on their instruments throwing everyone off, then everyone would just laugh. I laughed too, but not exactly for the same reasons. What was going on was funny, but my laughter was more of a way of expressing how much i miss doing what they were doing with them, yet how happy I am that they can still laugh together.
My old youth group isnt perfect, I make it sound like they are, but that's because as humans, we tend to make people/things/events grow fonder in our memories with time. But i know they are faults they have to work on, just like everyone else in this world. I'm glad they have Steve Jundo tho, because he desperately wants so much for the Youth to fix their mistakes and become a true body of christ. Its kind of funny, how I didnt really want the same thing for the Youth until I left it. Well, I guess in a way I wanted it before, but not as much as I do now. I pray that they take steve's efforts words to heart, because I realized why i respect that man so much. Because he seeks to be led by God as much as possible. And I know God has only the best of intentions for the youth. No matter what, no matter the shortcomings, I consider myself incredibly blessed to have everyone as my friend, as my brother or sister. I dont think I would have wanted it any other way. And, now, I think they are ready to really start running for God.
---
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Joe Hisaishi - Summer
here's a little music^^ ... so relaxing!
----
Lord, I come
To give You
Much more than just a melody.
Please take me and break me;
Right now God, I don't want to leave
Unchanged; I never wanna be the same.
I wanna sing.
I wanna fly.
I wanna see from Your side of the sky.
I wanna love.
I wanna stay,
Wanna be close to You
Long after,
'Cause Lord You are
Mighty, Awesome, Righteous,
Gracious, Knowing,
In me overflowing.
Father, Teacher, Master, Leader
Jealous, Loving, You are.
- After the music fades, Shaun Groves
God, i dont wanna do things to look God for others... the only one i want to please is you. Please Lord, help me to do so. So that when no one is looking, I still serve you.
here's a little music^^ ... so relaxing!
----
Lord, I come
To give You
Much more than just a melody.
Please take me and break me;
Right now God, I don't want to leave
Unchanged; I never wanna be the same.
I wanna sing.
I wanna fly.
I wanna see from Your side of the sky.
I wanna love.
I wanna stay,
Wanna be close to You
Long after,
'Cause Lord You are
Mighty, Awesome, Righteous,
Gracious, Knowing,
In me overflowing.
Father, Teacher, Master, Leader
Jealous, Loving, You are.
- After the music fades, Shaun Groves
God, i dont wanna do things to look God for others... the only one i want to please is you. Please Lord, help me to do so. So that when no one is looking, I still serve you.
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
::update::
I added some links to the right -->
and for those of you who visit this page, leave a shoutout every time you have a thought! just click on the link | jot down your thoughts | ..^^
"every blessing you pour out, ill turn back to praise
when the darkness closes in lord, still i will say
blessed be the name of the lord, blessed be your name
blessed be the name of the lord, blessed be your GLORIOUS name"
- Blessed be your name, Matt Redman
I added some links to the right -->
and for those of you who visit this page, leave a shoutout every time you have a thought! just click on the link | jot down your thoughts | ..^^
"every blessing you pour out, ill turn back to praise
when the darkness closes in lord, still i will say
blessed be the name of the lord, blessed be your name
blessed be the name of the lord, blessed be your GLORIOUS name"
- Blessed be your name, Matt Redman
Sunday, November 17, 2002
"i will trust the one who called me
for you are faithful, you are able"
----
if you are korean, part korean or whatever... you should probably listen to this song.. its deep, historical and relfective...
props to DYP aka the Goldyn Child for this piece...
for those of you who have a slower connection
lo-fi
and for those of you who have broadband
hi-fi
here are the lyrics
for you are faithful, you are able"
----
if you are korean, part korean or whatever... you should probably listen to this song.. its deep, historical and relfective...
props to DYP aka the Goldyn Child for this piece...
for those of you who have a slower connection
lo-fi
and for those of you who have broadband
hi-fi
here are the lyrics
Friday, November 15, 2002
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
here's an old school video that brings back memories
and for those who missed it the first time around, here's my rendition
----
'we must huddle together, because like coals, our fire will die and fizzle out faster when we are alone, so we must support one another and keep each other burning'
[edit] I fixed and added some of the links to the right... be sure to check them out!
[edit #2] oh yes, and thanks to cat for making the banner at the top of the page
and for those who missed it the first time around, here's my rendition
----
'we must huddle together, because like coals, our fire will die and fizzle out faster when we are alone, so we must support one another and keep each other burning'
[edit] I fixed and added some of the links to the right... be sure to check them out!
[edit #2] oh yes, and thanks to cat for making the banner at the top of the page
Monday, November 11, 2002
PICTURE TIME!
pics from the retreat....
lonnie's small group
morning work out time (look in the background, im sleeping by the pole hehe)
rebecca and leonora before the skits
joe as a ballerina^^
peter as a ballerina
me as an evil mime
UMBC AGAPE!
my nuna's, michelle the junior and the senior sisters^^
my small group... (jerry, me, micah, peter)
the sisters!
the brothers! (i'm hidden behind the cowboy hat with steve on my shoulders)
UMBC AGAPE AGAIN!
ok that's it bye bye!
pics from the retreat....
lonnie's small group
morning work out time (look in the background, im sleeping by the pole hehe)
rebecca and leonora before the skits
joe as a ballerina^^
peter as a ballerina
me as an evil mime
UMBC AGAPE!
my nuna's, michelle the junior and the senior sisters^^
my small group... (jerry, me, micah, peter)
the sisters!
the brothers! (i'm hidden behind the cowboy hat with steve on my shoulders)
UMBC AGAPE AGAIN!
ok that's it bye bye!
Thursday, November 07, 2002
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
these are excerpts from one of my favorite songs... Honest Expression
Ultimately, martial art means honestly expressing yourself...
it is easy for me to put on a show and be cocky,
or I could show you some really fancy movement...
But to express oneself honestly, not lying to oneself,
and to express myslef honestly...
Now that, my friend is very hard to do.
- Bruce Lee
I ain't the kinda guy who carry on for dough
The material cat who walk around for show
I'm just your everyday, merry way joe on the go
While others go with the flow
I ain't never been the one to follow trend, I do my own bit
Can't keep up with the joneses, I'm on my own shit
These lames run around like mice in a maze
Tryin' to get up on cheese, its just a rat race
Wanna change times' schemes to make man worship things
Over the supreme being, or stop, fill up?
Should I join the hypocrites?
Or side with the suckas by choice
It makes no difference that y'all product of environment
It's just coincidence
I ain't hardcore, I don't pack a 9 millimeter
Most of y'all gangster rappers ain't hardcore neither
Whoever get mad then I'm talkin 'bout you
Claim you fear no man but never walk without crew
Rhyme after rhyme it's the same topic
What make you think you hardcore cuz you was raised in the projects
Broke ass finally got a hundred in your pocket
Now you on the mic spittin' money's no object
What you say is bullcrap
If you wasn't with your crew and wasn't drunk off the brew
Would you still pull gats?
You need to stop frontin'
Or you're headed for self destruction
I'm talkin 'bout the one too many ignorant suckas
Lyin' on the mic to my sistas and brothas
Everytime you listen to the radio, all you hear is nonsense
They never play the bomb shit
Everything that glitters ain't gold
And every gold record don't glitter that's for damn sure
How many cats you know speak the illegit rhyme after rhyme diligent?
85 percent represent ignorant
Either you innocent or guilty
Some of my favorite emcees fell off
It damn near killed me
Lookin' at the kids that was true hip-hop
Nowadays them cats don't even do hip-hop
Seein real emcees tryin' to imitate rappers
If you ask me they goin' out ass backwards
Tradin' in respect to push a fat Lex
Puff rhymin' on the remix, what's next?
This is dedicated to you hip-hop hypocrites
Drivin wack songs like you don't give a shit
I ain't got nothin' against nobody tryin' to make a decent living
It ain't the money that's the issue
Only if that's the reason why these cats are makin' decent music
That's when I got beef with you
And I'ma break it you like never
Go ahead, call me player hater if it make you feel better
----
hip hop's becoming a way of life for me, not so much the cultural aspects but its the most genuine way i can represent myself now.
----
eh i havnt done one of these in a while^^
screw it im skipping the stupid ones
.1. full name: NVS (envious)... whoa...
.2. nicknames: newt, newty
.3. named after anyone: Isaac, Van Gogh
.12. religion.church: christianity, AMC
.29. living arrangements: dorming at umbc
.30. hobbies: lyricism... sleeping
.31. school: UMBC
.32. school colors: black and gold
.33. school mascot: retrieves (shudders)
.34. GPA: none as of yet
-:- friends -:-
.37. friends [girls]: i avoid them, or else id be crushing on all of them
.38. friends [boys]: agape brothers^^
.39.best friend: questionable.... time changes things
.48. closest: once again, time changes things...
.54. most hyper: kristina... she lives on my floor... she defines bubbly
.56. loudest: kristina once again
.57. friend you trust the most: steve khang
.58. friend you chill wit the most: all agape brothas!
.61. newest friend: too many to name...
-:- crush -:-
.62. got a GF/BF: nope
.67. crush: thankgod no one
.68. the person you wanna date: i kissed dating goodbye
.69.what do you look 4 in a guy/grl: a god centered life
.70. what do you notice when you first meet them: smile, general behavior
.71. biggest turn on: beautiful smile and voice
.72. biggest turn off: raunchiness (cussing, smoking, premescuity, etc)
.73. longest relationship: 11 months
.74. who: cat
.75. shortest relationship: 11 months
.76. who: cat
-:- first that comes to mind as a positive or favorite -:-
.80. song: Binary Star - Honest Expression
.82. car: nissan Z
.85. animal: flying squirrel
.87. tv show: the real world, its addicting
.92. word: shiznit
.96. cologne/perfume: whatever makes a girl smell good is fine by me
.99. drink: oh god i miss bubble tea
.100. store: radio shack so i can buy myself a mic
-:- future -:-
.106. job: im not sure
.107. marriage: yes, god willing of course
.108. to: TBA
-:- past -:-
.114. go back to anywhere, where would you go: begginning of high school so i could get it right
.115. least favorite memory: hahaha its posted somewhere in the depths of kp love and dating forum
.119. thing you most regret: being selfish
.120. favorite memory: everytime i encounter God
-:- have you ever -:-
.122. kissed someone: yes
.124. got D~hall: on numerous occasions
.127. betrayed a friend: to some degree yes
.128. used someone: probably...
.130. lied to your parents: yea... big ones too
.132. got lost in a store: hahaha as a kid yes
.133. got kicked out of a place: almost
.135. drove a car: OH MY GOD I MISS DRIVING
.137. broken a bone: my TOE
-:- 1st thing u think of -:-
.139. George W. Bush: kindergarten
.140. rubber: hahaha condoms
.141. wet: shower
.142. big boy: hungry man
.143. candy: too sweet
.144. boys: guys
.145. love: the most misinterpreted, misunderstood and misused emotion
.146. girls: yummy.... doh!
.150. quality time: i should study, i should do QT
.153. God: for he is good, his love endures forever
.155. pie: american
.157. grease: umbc food
.159. bubba: boboa...bubble tea....
-:- which one -:-
.163. girl/chick: girl
.166. sweet/sour: sweetandsour chicken!
.169. hot/cute: cute > hot
-:- more questions -:-
.170. biggest fear: rejecting god
.171. worst feeling in the world: realizing one's sin
.172. greatest feeling: feeling the burden of sin lifted off myself
.173. hardest thing you've ever done: ignore emotions
.175. goals: be a history maker
.176. how big is your bed: very small...dorm bed
im just wasting time hahahaha
Ultimately, martial art means honestly expressing yourself...
it is easy for me to put on a show and be cocky,
or I could show you some really fancy movement...
But to express oneself honestly, not lying to oneself,
and to express myslef honestly...
Now that, my friend is very hard to do.
- Bruce Lee
I ain't the kinda guy who carry on for dough
The material cat who walk around for show
I'm just your everyday, merry way joe on the go
While others go with the flow
I ain't never been the one to follow trend, I do my own bit
Can't keep up with the joneses, I'm on my own shit
These lames run around like mice in a maze
Tryin' to get up on cheese, its just a rat race
Wanna change times' schemes to make man worship things
Over the supreme being, or stop, fill up?
Should I join the hypocrites?
Or side with the suckas by choice
It makes no difference that y'all product of environment
It's just coincidence
I ain't hardcore, I don't pack a 9 millimeter
Most of y'all gangster rappers ain't hardcore neither
Whoever get mad then I'm talkin 'bout you
Claim you fear no man but never walk without crew
Rhyme after rhyme it's the same topic
What make you think you hardcore cuz you was raised in the projects
Broke ass finally got a hundred in your pocket
Now you on the mic spittin' money's no object
What you say is bullcrap
If you wasn't with your crew and wasn't drunk off the brew
Would you still pull gats?
You need to stop frontin'
Or you're headed for self destruction
I'm talkin 'bout the one too many ignorant suckas
Lyin' on the mic to my sistas and brothas
Everytime you listen to the radio, all you hear is nonsense
They never play the bomb shit
Everything that glitters ain't gold
And every gold record don't glitter that's for damn sure
How many cats you know speak the illegit rhyme after rhyme diligent?
85 percent represent ignorant
Either you innocent or guilty
Some of my favorite emcees fell off
It damn near killed me
Lookin' at the kids that was true hip-hop
Nowadays them cats don't even do hip-hop
Seein real emcees tryin' to imitate rappers
If you ask me they goin' out ass backwards
Tradin' in respect to push a fat Lex
Puff rhymin' on the remix, what's next?
This is dedicated to you hip-hop hypocrites
Drivin wack songs like you don't give a shit
I ain't got nothin' against nobody tryin' to make a decent living
It ain't the money that's the issue
Only if that's the reason why these cats are makin' decent music
That's when I got beef with you
And I'ma break it you like never
Go ahead, call me player hater if it make you feel better
----
hip hop's becoming a way of life for me, not so much the cultural aspects but its the most genuine way i can represent myself now.
----
eh i havnt done one of these in a while^^
screw it im skipping the stupid ones
.1. full name: NVS (envious)... whoa...
.2. nicknames: newt, newty
.3. named after anyone: Isaac, Van Gogh
.12. religion.church: christianity, AMC
.29. living arrangements: dorming at umbc
.30. hobbies: lyricism... sleeping
.31. school: UMBC
.32. school colors: black and gold
.33. school mascot: retrieves (shudders)
.34. GPA: none as of yet
-:- friends -:-
.37. friends [girls]: i avoid them, or else id be crushing on all of them
.38. friends [boys]: agape brothers^^
.39.best friend: questionable.... time changes things
.48. closest: once again, time changes things...
.54. most hyper: kristina... she lives on my floor... she defines bubbly
.56. loudest: kristina once again
.57. friend you trust the most: steve khang
.58. friend you chill wit the most: all agape brothas!
.61. newest friend: too many to name...
-:- crush -:-
.62. got a GF/BF: nope
.67. crush: thankgod no one
.68. the person you wanna date: i kissed dating goodbye
.69.what do you look 4 in a guy/grl: a god centered life
.70. what do you notice when you first meet them: smile, general behavior
.71. biggest turn on: beautiful smile and voice
.72. biggest turn off: raunchiness (cussing, smoking, premescuity, etc)
.73. longest relationship: 11 months
.74. who: cat
.75. shortest relationship: 11 months
.76. who: cat
-:- first that comes to mind as a positive or favorite -:-
.80. song: Binary Star - Honest Expression
.82. car: nissan Z
.85. animal: flying squirrel
.87. tv show: the real world, its addicting
.92. word: shiznit
.96. cologne/perfume: whatever makes a girl smell good is fine by me
.99. drink: oh god i miss bubble tea
.100. store: radio shack so i can buy myself a mic
-:- future -:-
.106. job: im not sure
.107. marriage: yes, god willing of course
.108. to: TBA
-:- past -:-
.114. go back to anywhere, where would you go: begginning of high school so i could get it right
.115. least favorite memory: hahaha its posted somewhere in the depths of kp love and dating forum
.119. thing you most regret: being selfish
.120. favorite memory: everytime i encounter God
-:- have you ever -:-
.122. kissed someone: yes
.124. got D~hall: on numerous occasions
.127. betrayed a friend: to some degree yes
.128. used someone: probably...
.130. lied to your parents: yea... big ones too
.132. got lost in a store: hahaha as a kid yes
.133. got kicked out of a place: almost
.135. drove a car: OH MY GOD I MISS DRIVING
.137. broken a bone: my TOE
-:- 1st thing u think of -:-
.139. George W. Bush: kindergarten
.140. rubber: hahaha condoms
.141. wet: shower
.142. big boy: hungry man
.143. candy: too sweet
.144. boys: guys
.145. love: the most misinterpreted, misunderstood and misused emotion
.146. girls: yummy.... doh!
.150. quality time: i should study, i should do QT
.153. God: for he is good, his love endures forever
.155. pie: american
.157. grease: umbc food
.159. bubba: boboa...bubble tea....
-:- which one -:-
.163. girl/chick: girl
.166. sweet/sour: sweetandsour chicken!
.169. hot/cute: cute > hot
-:- more questions -:-
.170. biggest fear: rejecting god
.171. worst feeling in the world: realizing one's sin
.172. greatest feeling: feeling the burden of sin lifted off myself
.173. hardest thing you've ever done: ignore emotions
.175. goals: be a history maker
.176. how big is your bed: very small...dorm bed
im just wasting time hahahaha
Saturday, October 26, 2002
God's been good to me, very good in fact. something is stirring within me, slowly but surely i am making steps, after years of standing still.Ive always wanted to walk, but never did I realize how powerless I am, how weak I am, how unable I am to take those steps to be the true man in which God wants me to be. All I can say is that I am truly grateful. God, you've picked me up everytime I have fallen, everytime I have felt like I have messed up totally you provide a way for me to stand up once again. I continue to make promises that now that I am up I will walk, but i dont seem to be able to. I apologize. You've been to faithful while I have faithfully been unfaithful. Its one thing to acknowledge you and acredit you, but to love is to obey. God, PLEASE, do not let me fall again, do not let me stray. I will follow you to the best of my abilities, but please help compensate for what I cannot do. Thank you, I will always bring you praise, for you have won my heart.
----
thank you carol^^ and everyone else who gave me warm wishes on my bday a couple days ago, ive been blessed to have people like you influence my life.
----
when the world says lifes too hard, so forfeit, its hard to ignore it/
its like its hardly worth it, things are dirty, even partly morbid /
all this sins spinning around ya like they all are in orbit/
are you no longer for it? then lets turn back to a heart of worship/
----
pt.2
but then things started to change, now its hardly the same/
my life was like a pendant necklace, saw my heart on a chain/
i no longer wanted to play a part in the game, it was too hard to remain/
i was lost at sea, but like moses, God parted a way/
i admit it was harder to say, goodbye and then truly mean it/
it was hard to believe it, i wanted love but all for stupid reasons/
i was wishing for your love but hardly knew its meaning/
like hoping to hit the lottery it was all just useless dreaming!/
to be continued...
----
thank you carol^^ and everyone else who gave me warm wishes on my bday a couple days ago, ive been blessed to have people like you influence my life.
----
when the world says lifes too hard, so forfeit, its hard to ignore it/
its like its hardly worth it, things are dirty, even partly morbid /
all this sins spinning around ya like they all are in orbit/
are you no longer for it? then lets turn back to a heart of worship/
----
pt.2
but then things started to change, now its hardly the same/
my life was like a pendant necklace, saw my heart on a chain/
i no longer wanted to play a part in the game, it was too hard to remain/
i was lost at sea, but like moses, God parted a way/
i admit it was harder to say, goodbye and then truly mean it/
it was hard to believe it, i wanted love but all for stupid reasons/
i was wishing for your love but hardly knew its meaning/
like hoping to hit the lottery it was all just useless dreaming!/
to be continued...
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
ack, 
everyone seems to be switching over to this xanga nonsense.... jiheon, lily... you are and forever will be marked as traitors to the BLOGGER NETWORK! 
hmmm...
its ok tho... you guys just arent cool enough to use the powerful resources of the BLOG!
-----
"Thank You"
by: Jeff Searles
Jesus You are and will always be
beautiful and lovely to me
You gave Your life, shed Your blood for me
heaven came down to reveal Your love
Thank You, thank You,
I will always bring You praise
For You have won my heart
Thank You, thank You,
I will always bring You praise
From the deepest places of my heart
----
*note to self*
...its all about the subtleties... hehe how many people are gonna remember?
everyone seems to be switching over to this xanga nonsense.... jiheon, lily... you are and forever will be marked as traitors to the BLOGGER NETWORK!
hmmm...
its ok tho... you guys just arent cool enough to use the powerful resources of the BLOG!
-----
"Thank You"
by: Jeff Searles
Jesus You are and will always be
beautiful and lovely to me
You gave Your life, shed Your blood for me
heaven came down to reveal Your love
Thank You, thank You,
I will always bring You praise
For You have won my heart
Thank You, thank You,
I will always bring You praise
From the deepest places of my heart
----
*note to self*
...its all about the subtleties... hehe how many people are gonna remember?
Sunday, October 20, 2002
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
-goodbye to you by Michelle Branch
(newts edit)
...
i crossed out the parts i didnt like/ that didnt apply/ or didnt fully apply
lets just say im taking steps in leaving behind more distractions.
----
'let us praise like we've never praised before'
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
-goodbye to you by Michelle Branch
(newts edit)
...
i crossed out the parts i didnt like/ that didnt apply/ or didnt fully apply
lets just say im taking steps in leaving behind more distractions.
----
'let us praise like we've never praised before'
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
perhaps i'm wrong.
the only justification that i've been going on is the fact that i am convicted in my views. the funny thing about convictions, i realized, is that you can be convicted about the wrong thing, but still believe you are right. and when we say we are right, we mean we are the ones who have the truth. if truth is to be exclusive, meaning there can only be one truth, one ultimate, underlying truth, then that means one of us has to be wrong.
when i think about it, i begin to hope more and more that i am the wrong one. Because if I am, then there is no harm down, i just simply have to adjust some of my beliefs, or even just reevaluate the ones I have and try to figure out whether or not I misinterpreted things. That won't be so hard. If you are wrong, you're going to get hurt. I dont want you to get hurt, but for some reason I believe you are going to in the end somehow. And I wont be there to help you up either, but I guess there will be others to help you. Either way though, when it comes to the possibility of you getting hurt against the possibility of me just having to do some reflection, id rather do reflection then see you get smacked in the face. Although sometimes I wonder if maybe, If I am the one who holds this so called 'exclusive truth', then perhaps if the consequences of your actions are not what you had wished for, then maybe you will learn from it and begin to see where I am coming from. Maybe this is better actually, maybe you need to have something slap you in the face once and for all to get you out of this vicious cycle.
Ideally of course, you wouldnt have to have such an abrupt wake up call, and maybe, just maybe, you happen to stumble upon something good, and there is no need for any further drama. To tell you the truth, I wish I could say I believe that this has happened. But for some reason, something deep inside me is telling me otherwise. Prove me wrong, please prove me wrong. Maybe I take too much pride in my so called 'gut feeling', but more often then not, it has proven to be faithful. There is a slight possibility that my so called 'gut feeling' this time around is just the result of my convictions leading on my thought processes, and for your sake I hope that this is the case.
My impulse emotions right now, at this very moment, is actually to just leave. It sounds cold, it sounds bitter even, and who knows, maybe it is. I can tell it is the selfish part of me just wanting to let go of responsibility. Although the influence I have in your life diminishes with time, I still feel responsible as to what happens to you. I very much want to protect you, but there are moments when it hits me hard, that I cant. Therefore, rather then just sit here, and watch you all struggle through your trials, not being able to help you, as well as missing out on celebrating your joys, I feel like I'd much rather forget about you. Memories are dangerous, they play with your mind, they alter your perception, and they can be distorted with time. I cant rely on memories...
And as for you, I'm sorry I hurt you in the past. What I did, i tried to justify to make it sound like I was being considerate, even compassionate. To a degree I was looking out for you, but I know a large part of it was for selfish reasons. I had gotten too caught up in things to realize exactly what had happened, and when I started to see it, i was rather shocked. I do know that, regardless of my motivations for doing so, what happened was actually for the better. I dont know if you see it, but it seems to me that you have found your happiness in something else. What worries me at this point is that, you are banking too much on this one thing that makes you happy, when in reality you should be seeking it else where, in God. Heh, i laugh at my self when I reminisce about me trying to be all christian like for you, when I was more concerned about looking good in your eyes, rather then the salvation of your heart. If i could go back and do it all over again, there'd be a lot of things I'd change. but of course that is a rediculous notion, and shouldnt even be thought out, but at least we didnt leave for our own seperate directions on too bad a note. I geniuenly wish you the best.
Hm... what can i say? You still cross my mind. It's not so much an infatuation any longer, just a curiousity. Not for the moment, but rather, what if in the future. I know myself, and I have set my goals and boundaries for the present. And god willing, I will abide by them. You have not been included. Not becase I didnt want you there, but rather just because you would be much to big a distraction for me to do what I have to do, which is carry out my duties as a child of christ to further His kingdom. It's insane though, sometimes I look for you, hoping you'd show up even though realistically I know the chances of that happening are small. All the better though, for I would once again get distracted. The way things worked with you though, was different then how I approached everything else. You stand out for some reason, but maybe that is my mind playing tricks again, it could be you are no different then the other examples of the past. Examples is being used for lack of a better word here. You seem to be the one other person who would be as dedicated to sticking to their beliefs as I am right now. No, not necessarily in the religious context, but I believe I have an idea for what you stand for, and you seem so strong minded despite your quiet and calm exterior. Never stray from him.
You hurt me, badly in fact. Yet I dont blame you, hold any grudges or anything of that sort. You had no intention to do so, therefore I have no reason to be upset with you. Time heals, and thankfully I can still percieve time, meaning I have healed. You too, seem to have found a source of happiness, the question remains is whether or not it is the right one. That sounded too cynical. I just mean, I hope you being to seek other forms of joy, more faithful and even better, more incredible sources of happiness. I really hope you turn to God for that. but one can only hope I suppose. You are truly.... unique, perhaps even a bit queer. not in the homosexual sense heh. Just... different. I feel a little bit different about you though. You are one of the few people I dont feel like disconnectiong myself from at this moment, rather I just want to be there for you, because for some reason or another, something tells me you're gonna need that. I hope this isnt foreshadowing into something disasterous, that would be really bad. Not that you arent strong, but I believe you arent as strong as you hope yourself to be. That's alright though, most of us have a higher view of oursevles then we should.
California. Why do I feel so drawn? I need to seek his wisdom on this matter. This is my plan, but im not sure if it's His. Heh, UMBC was never part of my plan, but here I am, and yet I find this to be one of the most blessed experiences I have yet to encounter in my 17 years that I have been alive. I am intensly curious as to where He will lead me in the next few years of my life. What I am talking about? This isnt even my life. It's His. 'For You are Good, Your Love Endures Forever'.....
[just a stream of conciousness, i dont really expect anyone to read all of this, but if you do, I definately doubt you'd be able to understand it. hehe, good luck trying though, its just things I would say to certain people If i could be completely blunt and honest]
----
The greatest love of all.... is that of which comes from God.
The greatest thing you will ever learn, is that no matter how much you love God, He loves you so much more in return.
-oooh i ripped of cheesy lines and made them profound!
----
the only justification that i've been going on is the fact that i am convicted in my views. the funny thing about convictions, i realized, is that you can be convicted about the wrong thing, but still believe you are right. and when we say we are right, we mean we are the ones who have the truth. if truth is to be exclusive, meaning there can only be one truth, one ultimate, underlying truth, then that means one of us has to be wrong.
when i think about it, i begin to hope more and more that i am the wrong one. Because if I am, then there is no harm down, i just simply have to adjust some of my beliefs, or even just reevaluate the ones I have and try to figure out whether or not I misinterpreted things. That won't be so hard. If you are wrong, you're going to get hurt. I dont want you to get hurt, but for some reason I believe you are going to in the end somehow. And I wont be there to help you up either, but I guess there will be others to help you. Either way though, when it comes to the possibility of you getting hurt against the possibility of me just having to do some reflection, id rather do reflection then see you get smacked in the face. Although sometimes I wonder if maybe, If I am the one who holds this so called 'exclusive truth', then perhaps if the consequences of your actions are not what you had wished for, then maybe you will learn from it and begin to see where I am coming from. Maybe this is better actually, maybe you need to have something slap you in the face once and for all to get you out of this vicious cycle.
Ideally of course, you wouldnt have to have such an abrupt wake up call, and maybe, just maybe, you happen to stumble upon something good, and there is no need for any further drama. To tell you the truth, I wish I could say I believe that this has happened. But for some reason, something deep inside me is telling me otherwise. Prove me wrong, please prove me wrong. Maybe I take too much pride in my so called 'gut feeling', but more often then not, it has proven to be faithful. There is a slight possibility that my so called 'gut feeling' this time around is just the result of my convictions leading on my thought processes, and for your sake I hope that this is the case.
My impulse emotions right now, at this very moment, is actually to just leave. It sounds cold, it sounds bitter even, and who knows, maybe it is. I can tell it is the selfish part of me just wanting to let go of responsibility. Although the influence I have in your life diminishes with time, I still feel responsible as to what happens to you. I very much want to protect you, but there are moments when it hits me hard, that I cant. Therefore, rather then just sit here, and watch you all struggle through your trials, not being able to help you, as well as missing out on celebrating your joys, I feel like I'd much rather forget about you. Memories are dangerous, they play with your mind, they alter your perception, and they can be distorted with time. I cant rely on memories...
And as for you, I'm sorry I hurt you in the past. What I did, i tried to justify to make it sound like I was being considerate, even compassionate. To a degree I was looking out for you, but I know a large part of it was for selfish reasons. I had gotten too caught up in things to realize exactly what had happened, and when I started to see it, i was rather shocked. I do know that, regardless of my motivations for doing so, what happened was actually for the better. I dont know if you see it, but it seems to me that you have found your happiness in something else. What worries me at this point is that, you are banking too much on this one thing that makes you happy, when in reality you should be seeking it else where, in God. Heh, i laugh at my self when I reminisce about me trying to be all christian like for you, when I was more concerned about looking good in your eyes, rather then the salvation of your heart. If i could go back and do it all over again, there'd be a lot of things I'd change. but of course that is a rediculous notion, and shouldnt even be thought out, but at least we didnt leave for our own seperate directions on too bad a note. I geniuenly wish you the best.
Hm... what can i say? You still cross my mind. It's not so much an infatuation any longer, just a curiousity. Not for the moment, but rather, what if in the future. I know myself, and I have set my goals and boundaries for the present. And god willing, I will abide by them. You have not been included. Not becase I didnt want you there, but rather just because you would be much to big a distraction for me to do what I have to do, which is carry out my duties as a child of christ to further His kingdom. It's insane though, sometimes I look for you, hoping you'd show up even though realistically I know the chances of that happening are small. All the better though, for I would once again get distracted. The way things worked with you though, was different then how I approached everything else. You stand out for some reason, but maybe that is my mind playing tricks again, it could be you are no different then the other examples of the past. Examples is being used for lack of a better word here. You seem to be the one other person who would be as dedicated to sticking to their beliefs as I am right now. No, not necessarily in the religious context, but I believe I have an idea for what you stand for, and you seem so strong minded despite your quiet and calm exterior. Never stray from him.
You hurt me, badly in fact. Yet I dont blame you, hold any grudges or anything of that sort. You had no intention to do so, therefore I have no reason to be upset with you. Time heals, and thankfully I can still percieve time, meaning I have healed. You too, seem to have found a source of happiness, the question remains is whether or not it is the right one. That sounded too cynical. I just mean, I hope you being to seek other forms of joy, more faithful and even better, more incredible sources of happiness. I really hope you turn to God for that. but one can only hope I suppose. You are truly.... unique, perhaps even a bit queer. not in the homosexual sense heh. Just... different. I feel a little bit different about you though. You are one of the few people I dont feel like disconnectiong myself from at this moment, rather I just want to be there for you, because for some reason or another, something tells me you're gonna need that. I hope this isnt foreshadowing into something disasterous, that would be really bad. Not that you arent strong, but I believe you arent as strong as you hope yourself to be. That's alright though, most of us have a higher view of oursevles then we should.
California. Why do I feel so drawn? I need to seek his wisdom on this matter. This is my plan, but im not sure if it's His. Heh, UMBC was never part of my plan, but here I am, and yet I find this to be one of the most blessed experiences I have yet to encounter in my 17 years that I have been alive. I am intensly curious as to where He will lead me in the next few years of my life. What I am talking about? This isnt even my life. It's His. 'For You are Good, Your Love Endures Forever'.....
[just a stream of conciousness, i dont really expect anyone to read all of this, but if you do, I definately doubt you'd be able to understand it. hehe, good luck trying though, its just things I would say to certain people If i could be completely blunt and honest]
----
The greatest love of all.... is that of which comes from God.
The greatest thing you will ever learn, is that no matter how much you love God, He loves you so much more in return.
-oooh i ripped of cheesy lines and made them profound!
----
Sunday, October 13, 2002
dag, im feeling these books by joshua harris...
i just want to share some excerpts from Boy Meets Girl that really stood out to me:
"A Couple commited to God's glory places their ultimate hope in God, not in each other. Before two people can please God as a couple, they most first be individuals who want God more than anything else and who know that only He can satisfy the deepest longings of their souls."
"It's not enough to simply have romnatic feelings. Anyone can do that! Long-lasting romance needs practical, common-sense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express out emotions and when to keep quiet. When to open our hearts and when to rein them in."
"Patience is important not only in waiting for the right time to start a relationship, but also in allowing it to unfold in a healthy pace. Impatience rushes everything. It urges us to skip the time and attention a healthy friendship requiers and to jump right into emotional and physical intimacy."
"Anyone can have passionate feelings, but only those who seek God's purpose and timing can know the true joy of romantic love fufilled"
DAG! All this good stuff and ive just finished only the THIRD CHAPTER. It makes so much sense its rediculous.
i just want to share some excerpts from Boy Meets Girl that really stood out to me:
"A Couple commited to God's glory places their ultimate hope in God, not in each other. Before two people can please God as a couple, they most first be individuals who want God more than anything else and who know that only He can satisfy the deepest longings of their souls."
"It's not enough to simply have romnatic feelings. Anyone can do that! Long-lasting romance needs practical, common-sense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express out emotions and when to keep quiet. When to open our hearts and when to rein them in."
"Patience is important not only in waiting for the right time to start a relationship, but also in allowing it to unfold in a healthy pace. Impatience rushes everything. It urges us to skip the time and attention a healthy friendship requiers and to jump right into emotional and physical intimacy."
"Anyone can have passionate feelings, but only those who seek God's purpose and timing can know the true joy of romantic love fufilled"
DAG! All this good stuff and ive just finished only the THIRD CHAPTER. It makes so much sense its rediculous.
Thursday, October 10, 2002
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
sometimes... there are girls that are so cute, that when they smile... you cant help but smile back...
GAH I SHALL CAST DOWN MY IDOLS! GAH BACK STAY BACK!....
sorry... its an ongoing struggle guys ^^.
and there's this other girl... who is like a darker skinned version of lily.
haha if you read this lily, i think you have a filipino twin here at umbc.
*shrugs* oh well...
ill stay away from ALL OF EM! girls = evil ^^.
actually.. no not really...
newton + girls = distraction
and distraction = evil to the second power ^^
GAH I SHALL CAST DOWN MY IDOLS! GAH BACK STAY BACK!....
sorry... its an ongoing struggle guys ^^.
and there's this other girl... who is like a darker skinned version of lily.
haha if you read this lily, i think you have a filipino twin here at umbc.
*shrugs* oh well...
ill stay away from ALL OF EM! girls = evil ^^.
actually.. no not really...
newton + girls = distraction
and distraction = evil to the second power ^^
Monday, October 07, 2002
this is a very much recommended download...
its like a christian sarah mclachlan... awesome stuff.
----
Ginny Owens - If You Want Me To
The pathway is broken
The signs are unclear
I can't find the reason why You led me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
And if all of these trials can make me like You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
'Cause it leads me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
Only that I'll never go alone
When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
amen?
its like a christian sarah mclachlan... awesome stuff.
----
Ginny Owens - If You Want Me To
The pathway is broken
The signs are unclear
I can't find the reason why You led me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
And if all of these trials can make me like You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
'Cause it leads me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
Only that I'll never go alone
When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
amen?
Sunday, October 06, 2002
so, have you given into ya emotions or not?/
or are you hoping you got some kind of notion from god?/
well i guess you know where you going since you've chosen the spot/
its like you slowly forgot, dont tell me once again you stroll with the flocks!?/
thought you were stronger, but this may very well show that your not/
i guess ill believe you the day i see you holding a rock/
ive found im the weaker of friends, now im beginning the end/
im tired of drifting, so i guess im just leaving instead/
dont get it? you dont have to... hehe.
or are you hoping you got some kind of notion from god?/
well i guess you know where you going since you've chosen the spot/
its like you slowly forgot, dont tell me once again you stroll with the flocks!?/
thought you were stronger, but this may very well show that your not/
i guess ill believe you the day i see you holding a rock/
ive found im the weaker of friends, now im beginning the end/
im tired of drifting, so i guess im just leaving instead/
dont get it? you dont have to... hehe.
hehe, lately ive been listening to a wide array of music...
old school techno: La Bouche - sweet dreams; Real McCoy - Another Night
old school NSYNC: drive myself crazy; its gonna be me; god must have spent
old school K-Pop: H.O.T. - we are the future
new hip hop: Xzibit ft. Eminem - My Name
---
when my hair gets like this, you know i need a haircut again.
---
haha funny eh? oh well...
wow... there was a conference at my church this weekend where congregations and pastors from all over... NY, NC, CA, PA and im sure other places all came to just share a time of worship and fellowship, and it was a pretty awesome, mindblowing experience. its taught me some things about myself, and kind of served as a smack in the face and i finally saw some of the things ive been doing wrong all these times...
its hard to change... that's for sure... but i realize I MYSELF can never change, ill always have the same habits if i try to act on my own power... but when we trust God to take care of it... when we rely on HIS strength... wow! its finally possible! im excited.... college really is a new chapter in my life^^. to be rescued from my old ways cant happen from within myself... someone from the outside has to bring me out... that someone = god. POWERFUL HUH!?
----
I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again
Well it's true today that when people stand
With the fire of God, and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing
We'll see broken hearts making history
Yes it's true and I believe it
We're living for you
-history maker, by delirious
----
old school techno: La Bouche - sweet dreams; Real McCoy - Another Night
old school NSYNC: drive myself crazy; its gonna be me; god must have spent
old school K-Pop: H.O.T. - we are the future
new hip hop: Xzibit ft. Eminem - My Name
---
when my hair gets like this, you know i need a haircut again.
---
haha funny eh? oh well...
wow... there was a conference at my church this weekend where congregations and pastors from all over... NY, NC, CA, PA and im sure other places all came to just share a time of worship and fellowship, and it was a pretty awesome, mindblowing experience. its taught me some things about myself, and kind of served as a smack in the face and i finally saw some of the things ive been doing wrong all these times...
its hard to change... that's for sure... but i realize I MYSELF can never change, ill always have the same habits if i try to act on my own power... but when we trust God to take care of it... when we rely on HIS strength... wow! its finally possible! im excited.... college really is a new chapter in my life^^. to be rescued from my old ways cant happen from within myself... someone from the outside has to bring me out... that someone = god. POWERFUL HUH!?
----
I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again
Well it's true today that when people stand
With the fire of God, and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing
We'll see broken hearts making history
Yes it's true and I believe it
We're living for you
-history maker, by delirious
----
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
be careful with the simple, yet addicting games... they'll kill your time like crazy.
i just spent an hour and a half playing ONE game of tetris, to get a score of 600,000 or around there to become the 6th best player in koreanpride.com hehe.
god what a loser i am ^^.
i need to go to bed BY TWELVE so i can wake up for morning prayer and wake up for class.... ive been having a bad oversleeping problem lately.
oh yes btw, i stole jiheon's shout out joint and put in my own so you can reply back! click on the link that says ' |jot down your thoughts| '
alright well, im gonna just chill for now but take care everyone! god bless !
i just spent an hour and a half playing ONE game of tetris, to get a score of 600,000 or around there to become the 6th best player in koreanpride.com hehe.
god what a loser i am ^^.
i need to go to bed BY TWELVE so i can wake up for morning prayer and wake up for class.... ive been having a bad oversleeping problem lately.
oh yes btw, i stole jiheon's shout out joint and put in my own so you can reply back! click on the link that says ' |jot down your thoughts| '
alright well, im gonna just chill for now but take care everyone! god bless !
Monday, September 30, 2002
dont tell me about it later, cuz you can keep ya stories/
you believed he's a sure thing, but you didnt heed the warnings/
dont come to me if he treats ya poorly and you need supporting/
didnt think i could be a jerk? you can either believe it or leave/
sorry, i didnt mean to spit so much verbal abuse, im just split in twos/
maybe im just missing you.... i dunno i guess im just a bit confused/
darker style of writing coming from me eh?
hehe... i dont usually write like that, i dont even remember exactly when it was i wrote this. just goes to show much i depend on lyricism to get my thoughts unto paper, even during my darker times.
you believed he's a sure thing, but you didnt heed the warnings/
dont come to me if he treats ya poorly and you need supporting/
didnt think i could be a jerk? you can either believe it or leave/
sorry, i didnt mean to spit so much verbal abuse, im just split in twos/
maybe im just missing you.... i dunno i guess im just a bit confused/
darker style of writing coming from me eh?
hehe... i dont usually write like that, i dont even remember exactly when it was i wrote this. just goes to show much i depend on lyricism to get my thoughts unto paper, even during my darker times.
Sunday, September 29, 2002
oh yea i just remembered this song hehe.
its originally sung by elton john but i first heard it in moulin rouge...
but this one part is sort of like an add on description
for my piece down below.
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
k gnite.!
its originally sung by elton john but i first heard it in moulin rouge...
but this one part is sort of like an add on description
for my piece down below.
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
k gnite.!
Saturday, September 28, 2002
i pretty much spent the entire day today working on how to do audios....
gosh its so hard! haha, well for an entire's days work i was able to do one full piece.
here it is, i wrote up most of it today, part of the first verse was made from earlier tho.
haha it sucks so bad, but this is only my third full audio song in my entire life, and im working with
completely new equipment and software, so i was kind of struggling. Sometimes its hard to
understand me, but im working on my delivary. Im also tryna figure out how to use the audio
tweakings and what not, bah well either way ill stop making excuses for why it sucks..
oh btw, probably the only decent thing about this song is the beat. props to SOLETERNITY. he's friggn amazing. I didnt even ask for his permission to use this haha but its just a hobby so i dont think he'll mind. check him out at mp3.com and look him up.
and here it is.
here are the lyrics in case you cant understand.
Chorus:
when you were down you shared with me
when i needed you, you were there for me
im just thankful that you cared for me
but i guess this is the part where i leave
Verse 1:
its sad to say what we have today wont last or stay/
but i guess thats the way, it is, time will pass away/
we've all had some bad mistakes but that's okay/
but i guess i just have some thigns that i have to say/
we each of gotta walk our own seperate paths/
and both the good and bad times are just left in the past/
but i tell ya its definate that, never will i be forgetten the laughs/
im thankful for the time that we had, but i guess im just regrettn its passed/
and i hate saying good bye's/
and how friendships can seem like only one day in a life/
and i wanna promise you'll forever be my heart, n stay in my mind/
hopefully we'll meet again, maybe one day ours fates'll entwine/
cuz these are and forever will be, the days of our lives/
and how you tackle things depends on the state of ya minds/
i pray that you will each eventually will come to a way that you'll find/
will have an abundance of the lord's blessings, just dont stray from his side/
Chorus:
Verse 2:
I hate to admit it, but im already beginning to lose touch with you/
i guess its hard, sometimes i just have too much stuff to do/
so i get discouraged, thinking man screw it, what's the use/
i dunno why its getting me down tho, im sure i must've knew/
no longer can i joke around and hear us laugh it up/
doesn it suck when we know time's passed us up?/
i cant even give ya rides so you dont have to catch the bus/
i always said how are you, but it doesnt seem like i asked enough/
i cant listen to you rant when youre mad at some one/
or try to help you vent when you just had to much/
im sure you'll find another who'll help you have some fun/
but i guess it just saddens me that im not that someone/
i want to give you advice, even though you may not use it/
or maybe just drive around and listen to music/
well im not gonna sit here and start making excuses/
but i apologize for any time i may have hurt you when i was stupid/
Chorus:
Verse 3:
So i guess its the end, but the journy was worth it/
each of you will come to this day, but dont be nervous/
make the most of the time you got, cuz what ive learned is/
you cant start a single day without a purpose/
lean on god, follow his ways, dont hesitate to be his servants/
and ya life will have gone to amazing from worthless/
you've all been great, god bless you, you all deserve it/
dont be afraid of the day when our memories fade/
there may be a time when you cant remember my name/
but in the end its the same, in what ever the case/
the time ive had with you all was never a waste/
chances are if you are reading this, then this was in part meant for you.
enjoy.
gosh its so hard! haha, well for an entire's days work i was able to do one full piece.
here it is, i wrote up most of it today, part of the first verse was made from earlier tho.
haha it sucks so bad, but this is only my third full audio song in my entire life, and im working with
completely new equipment and software, so i was kind of struggling. Sometimes its hard to
understand me, but im working on my delivary. Im also tryna figure out how to use the audio
tweakings and what not, bah well either way ill stop making excuses for why it sucks..
oh btw, probably the only decent thing about this song is the beat. props to SOLETERNITY. he's friggn amazing. I didnt even ask for his permission to use this haha but its just a hobby so i dont think he'll mind. check him out at mp3.com and look him up.
and here it is.
here are the lyrics in case you cant understand.
Chorus:
when you were down you shared with me
when i needed you, you were there for me
im just thankful that you cared for me
but i guess this is the part where i leave
Verse 1:
its sad to say what we have today wont last or stay/
but i guess thats the way, it is, time will pass away/
we've all had some bad mistakes but that's okay/
but i guess i just have some thigns that i have to say/
we each of gotta walk our own seperate paths/
and both the good and bad times are just left in the past/
but i tell ya its definate that, never will i be forgetten the laughs/
im thankful for the time that we had, but i guess im just regrettn its passed/
and i hate saying good bye's/
and how friendships can seem like only one day in a life/
and i wanna promise you'll forever be my heart, n stay in my mind/
hopefully we'll meet again, maybe one day ours fates'll entwine/
cuz these are and forever will be, the days of our lives/
and how you tackle things depends on the state of ya minds/
i pray that you will each eventually will come to a way that you'll find/
will have an abundance of the lord's blessings, just dont stray from his side/
Chorus:
Verse 2:
I hate to admit it, but im already beginning to lose touch with you/
i guess its hard, sometimes i just have too much stuff to do/
so i get discouraged, thinking man screw it, what's the use/
i dunno why its getting me down tho, im sure i must've knew/
no longer can i joke around and hear us laugh it up/
doesn it suck when we know time's passed us up?/
i cant even give ya rides so you dont have to catch the bus/
i always said how are you, but it doesnt seem like i asked enough/
i cant listen to you rant when youre mad at some one/
or try to help you vent when you just had to much/
im sure you'll find another who'll help you have some fun/
but i guess it just saddens me that im not that someone/
i want to give you advice, even though you may not use it/
or maybe just drive around and listen to music/
well im not gonna sit here and start making excuses/
but i apologize for any time i may have hurt you when i was stupid/
Chorus:
Verse 3:
So i guess its the end, but the journy was worth it/
each of you will come to this day, but dont be nervous/
make the most of the time you got, cuz what ive learned is/
you cant start a single day without a purpose/
lean on god, follow his ways, dont hesitate to be his servants/
and ya life will have gone to amazing from worthless/
you've all been great, god bless you, you all deserve it/
dont be afraid of the day when our memories fade/
there may be a time when you cant remember my name/
but in the end its the same, in what ever the case/
the time ive had with you all was never a waste/
chances are if you are reading this, then this was in part meant for you.
enjoy.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
hey, this is a quick update, but i just wanted to share my new discovery.
as some of you know ive gotten a webcam this past week and im just now finding out all the cool things one can do with such a powerful resource. well, this is the first of im sure will be many tests and experiments to come, may they benefit man kind ^^.
download here
alright everyone. bye!
as some of you know ive gotten a webcam this past week and im just now finding out all the cool things one can do with such a powerful resource. well, this is the first of im sure will be many tests and experiments to come, may they benefit man kind ^^.
download here
alright everyone. bye!
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
here are some picturas for your entertainment ^^
i just picked out some from my ministries web page... for the rest you can just go there
the following are from last week's game night....
here is Lonnie doing a punishment,... she's acting like a dog hehe
here is my back, doing this rediculous game... dont ask
this is pete... being pete
here is a bunch of people... and summer sticking out her tongue
and here's most of the ministry
the next bunch are from saturday's volleyball sessions
here's tina... makin a face
ramaro making a face
hedgi...doing... i dont know...something with her leg
hehe... those were just to give you guys a break from all the text ive been putting out...
i do have a webcam but i cant really use it using windows xp... boo windows xp...
that's it for now.. tata!
i just picked out some from my ministries web page... for the rest you can just go there
the following are from last week's game night....
here is Lonnie doing a punishment,... she's acting like a dog hehe
here is my back, doing this rediculous game... dont ask
this is pete... being pete
here is a bunch of people... and summer sticking out her tongue
and here's most of the ministry
the next bunch are from saturday's volleyball sessions
here's tina... makin a face
ramaro making a face
hedgi...doing... i dont know...something with her leg
hehe... those were just to give you guys a break from all the text ive been putting out...
i do have a webcam but i cant really use it using windows xp... boo windows xp...
that's it for now.. tata!
Monday, September 16, 2002
i overslept 3 hours today and missed my first class ever so far this semester... haha *note to self, the "just 5 more minutes of sleep" method doesnt work.*
in general ive noticed, i admire a lot of my older female friends. Sometimes i find myself pondering what if I were just a few years older, would I be really attracted to some of these individuals? Honestly I think i would. I dunno, maybe its just this sense of maturity that surrounds some older girls, where it seems like they dont deal with some of the petty and somewhat rediculous problems that girls my age or younger often complain about. It's like they've outgrown those kind of predicaments and have moved on to focus upon greater, more important things in their lives, like their walks with god for example....
well either way im so blessed to have older sisters in christ like the ones i have now....
and my older brothers... oh man... haha its great to know such a great group of guys got my back at any given moment, and genuinly try to spread the love as much as they possibly can....
im finding that college is truly turning out to be a rewarding experience as long as i walk with god through it
in general ive noticed, i admire a lot of my older female friends. Sometimes i find myself pondering what if I were just a few years older, would I be really attracted to some of these individuals? Honestly I think i would. I dunno, maybe its just this sense of maturity that surrounds some older girls, where it seems like they dont deal with some of the petty and somewhat rediculous problems that girls my age or younger often complain about. It's like they've outgrown those kind of predicaments and have moved on to focus upon greater, more important things in their lives, like their walks with god for example....
well either way im so blessed to have older sisters in christ like the ones i have now....
and my older brothers... oh man... haha its great to know such a great group of guys got my back at any given moment, and genuinly try to spread the love as much as they possibly can....
im finding that college is truly turning out to be a rewarding experience as long as i walk with god through it
Sunday, September 15, 2002
at a recent joing campus agape ministry meeting, a group of alumni's were given the oppurtunity to share a little about how god has worked in their lives... as well as give some advice for those now in college...
for all of you, i have labored long and hard to pick out the best = )
so please take the time to read some of these gems of wisdom
"Gods plans for you are much better then the ones you try to accomplish for yourself"
"Dont do anything halfway. It is miserable spending your life in the middle trying to decide whether or not you're going to give your all to Christ. The only way to truly be satisfied is to give all you got for the kingdom. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."
"Make decisions (no matter big or small) based on God, i.e. not depending on human wisdom"
"Trust in God for the present and the future. He will provide what you need at the right time. Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."
"Live your life for the things that are eternal. Dont wast time pursuing things of the world, thinking that that will make you happy. God is the only one that satisfies."
"There's nothing else worth living for! Close your ears to what society and culture have to say about what is really important; running after career, prestige, wealth, or relationships will lead to a reward that is instnaly gratifying, but will not last. What you do for Christ will last for eternity. Also, a general rule of thumb: when you're ready to start thinking about marriage and the spiritual, emotional, and financial responsibilities this will entail, then you're ready to start thinking about dating. Otherwise, being involved in dating relationships when you arent ready can be a hindrance to your growth in Christ. As you seek the Lord and trust Him with your future careerm finances and spouse, He will provide all that you need."
praise god! he is compassionate and it is evident that by choosing to live your life continualy under his guidance, that you will have a fufilling and awesome life! Right now more then ever, I am filled with so much hope and wonderment towards my future. I am willing to see how God will use me to further his kingdom, and to spread his love! For those of you reading this that know me personally, please keep me accountable, and join me in leading this new life style!
for all of you, i have labored long and hard to pick out the best = )
so please take the time to read some of these gems of wisdom
"Gods plans for you are much better then the ones you try to accomplish for yourself"
"Dont do anything halfway. It is miserable spending your life in the middle trying to decide whether or not you're going to give your all to Christ. The only way to truly be satisfied is to give all you got for the kingdom. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."
"Make decisions (no matter big or small) based on God, i.e. not depending on human wisdom"
"Trust in God for the present and the future. He will provide what you need at the right time. Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."
"Live your life for the things that are eternal. Dont wast time pursuing things of the world, thinking that that will make you happy. God is the only one that satisfies."
"There's nothing else worth living for! Close your ears to what society and culture have to say about what is really important; running after career, prestige, wealth, or relationships will lead to a reward that is instnaly gratifying, but will not last. What you do for Christ will last for eternity. Also, a general rule of thumb: when you're ready to start thinking about marriage and the spiritual, emotional, and financial responsibilities this will entail, then you're ready to start thinking about dating. Otherwise, being involved in dating relationships when you arent ready can be a hindrance to your growth in Christ. As you seek the Lord and trust Him with your future careerm finances and spouse, He will provide all that you need."
praise god! he is compassionate and it is evident that by choosing to live your life continualy under his guidance, that you will have a fufilling and awesome life! Right now more then ever, I am filled with so much hope and wonderment towards my future. I am willing to see how God will use me to further his kingdom, and to spread his love! For those of you reading this that know me personally, please keep me accountable, and join me in leading this new life style!
I am blessed
I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Til I lay my head to rest
I feel You near me
You soothe me when I'm weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed
You've given me joy
You've given me love
You give me strength
When I want to give up
You came from heaven
To rescue my soul
This is the reason I know, I know
- excerpts from "blessed" by Rachel Lampa
the lord is always faithful, im beginning to realize it more and more
I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Til I lay my head to rest
I feel You near me
You soothe me when I'm weary
Oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed
You've given me joy
You've given me love
You give me strength
When I want to give up
You came from heaven
To rescue my soul
This is the reason I know, I know
- excerpts from "blessed" by Rachel Lampa
the lord is always faithful, im beginning to realize it more and more
Friday, September 13, 2002
Everyday is a new day
I’m thankful for every breath I take
I won’t take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It’s beyond my control, sometimes it’s best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind
chorus:
I feel so alive for the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time
And I think I can fly
Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can’t hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I’ve seen you
I can never look away
the lord calls us to be radicals, a generation of prophets.... im feeling this epiphany....time to bring some action to the name of CHRISTian.
praise the lord for he is good. he is faithful. he's got your back always.
ps.... GOD I MISS DRIVING
k that's it for now, tata! god bless!
I’m thankful for every breath I take
I won’t take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It’s beyond my control, sometimes it’s best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind
chorus:
I feel so alive for the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time
And I think I can fly
Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can’t hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I’ve seen you
I can never look away
the lord calls us to be radicals, a generation of prophets.... im feeling this epiphany....time to bring some action to the name of CHRISTian.
praise the lord for he is good. he is faithful. he's got your back always.
ps.... GOD I MISS DRIVING
k that's it for now, tata! god bless!
Thursday, September 12, 2002
hey wassup, this is somewhat of a forced entry because usually when i do these things i delibarately sit down to do this because i want to, but for a while now i havnt really felt too motivated to write a whole lot in here, but i guess i will for the sake of maintenance.
ive joined a new church here called agape ministries, and its really good stuff... this is their web page... ive even been trying to go to morning prayer at least a couple times a week... haha its hard waking up tho...
as it sits, my crappy days are Mondays and Wednesdays, where I have at least THREE classes to go to, and they are spread out so that the whole day is shot... Tuesdays ive designated to be my laundry day because i go to class at 11:30 then come back and grab some lunch and do my laundry... its worked out pretty well so far.... but what sucks is having to spend 3 bucks everytime i wanna do laundry...
ive been meeting a lot of cool people, mainly through agape, but either way i'm never really lonely, so that's a plus, also, me and my roomate get along real well... he's like the white version of me... very chill, very relaxed... and very lazy haha... so its all working out pretty well...
luckily, my workload isnt rediculous... at least not yet, but im sure it will all of sudden be piled on and ill be in the library 24-7 hitting them books... but until then im enjoying a somewhat laid back life... a mixture of doing my limited amount of school work, and hanging out or playing games and what not...
ok well that's all i can say for now... ill cya next time... peace
ive joined a new church here called agape ministries, and its really good stuff... this is their web page... ive even been trying to go to morning prayer at least a couple times a week... haha its hard waking up tho...
as it sits, my crappy days are Mondays and Wednesdays, where I have at least THREE classes to go to, and they are spread out so that the whole day is shot... Tuesdays ive designated to be my laundry day because i go to class at 11:30 then come back and grab some lunch and do my laundry... its worked out pretty well so far.... but what sucks is having to spend 3 bucks everytime i wanna do laundry...
ive been meeting a lot of cool people, mainly through agape, but either way i'm never really lonely, so that's a plus, also, me and my roomate get along real well... he's like the white version of me... very chill, very relaxed... and very lazy haha... so its all working out pretty well...
luckily, my workload isnt rediculous... at least not yet, but im sure it will all of sudden be piled on and ill be in the library 24-7 hitting them books... but until then im enjoying a somewhat laid back life... a mixture of doing my limited amount of school work, and hanging out or playing games and what not...
ok well that's all i can say for now... ill cya next time... peace
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Friday, September 06, 2002
hi everyone...
a lot of people have been yelling at me for putting up the last link... so to APPEASE YOU PEOPLE...
here are links for your entertainment... and yes they truly are entertaining...
1.JiHeon If You're Reading This, You're the Guy on the Right
2.this is entertaining for about.. 5 seconds
3.unexpected ending
4.A CLASSIC: XIAO XIAO
5.A fun follow-up to Xiao Xiao
6.something to do when you're bored
7.careful.. you might get a seizure
k that's the update for now... some are more fun then others...
and yes.. this is all you do in college.... go to class... study... surf the web for fun things
a lot of people have been yelling at me for putting up the last link... so to APPEASE YOU PEOPLE...
here are links for your entertainment... and yes they truly are entertaining...
1.JiHeon If You're Reading This, You're the Guy on the Right
2.this is entertaining for about.. 5 seconds
3.unexpected ending
4.A CLASSIC: XIAO XIAO
5.A fun follow-up to Xiao Xiao
6.something to do when you're bored
7.careful.. you might get a seizure
k that's the update for now... some are more fun then others...
and yes.. this is all you do in college.... go to class... study... surf the web for fun things
Sunday, September 01, 2002
quick up date, just wanted to share this with the world
http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf
have fun.
http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf
have fun.
Friday, August 30, 2002
hey, its been a lil while.... since my last up date...
aight here's what's been happening.
im in college now... woohoo?.... or maybe woohoo! for that matter... i dunno it depends... i kinda have to start over... you know? like making friends and what not... but so far ive made a lot of upperclassmen friends through agape ministries.. but i still have to do a lil more searching b4 i join a ministry for sure and what not... but they are definately very cool people...
classes started wednesday and i moved in last saturday... ive started to play some computer games a lil again, because there was a lot of time to kill, but im starting to get on a schedule now that classes have started so im on the computer less and less now... i got to start looking for an on campus job within the next week and also start hitting the gym here... hehe imma be vin diesal's look alike ^^
anyhow, in terms of classes...
i must say, honestly, no joke, i think im like... the only normal guy in my computer science class.... everyone else ... is just... i dunno.... weiiird..
these two guys were about to get in a fight over their favorite processors...
"no man AMD kicks ASS!, intel sucks!"
"NO DUDE YOU GOT IT BACKWORD, intel will BLOW YOUR MIND"
im sitting there.... listening... thinking... omg... shut up...
well that's a short update for now.. cya
btw.... college internet is AMAZING!... its just real fast ^^
aight here's what's been happening.
im in college now... woohoo?.... or maybe woohoo! for that matter... i dunno it depends... i kinda have to start over... you know? like making friends and what not... but so far ive made a lot of upperclassmen friends through agape ministries.. but i still have to do a lil more searching b4 i join a ministry for sure and what not... but they are definately very cool people...
classes started wednesday and i moved in last saturday... ive started to play some computer games a lil again, because there was a lot of time to kill, but im starting to get on a schedule now that classes have started so im on the computer less and less now... i got to start looking for an on campus job within the next week and also start hitting the gym here... hehe imma be vin diesal's look alike ^^
anyhow, in terms of classes...
i must say, honestly, no joke, i think im like... the only normal guy in my computer science class.... everyone else ... is just... i dunno.... weiiird..
these two guys were about to get in a fight over their favorite processors...
"no man AMD kicks ASS!, intel sucks!"
"NO DUDE YOU GOT IT BACKWORD, intel will BLOW YOUR MIND"
im sitting there.... listening... thinking... omg... shut up...
well that's a short update for now.. cya
btw.... college internet is AMAZING!... its just real fast ^^
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
words of wisdom... jotted down by others...
"Real life is about reacting quickly to the opportunity at hand, not the opportunity you envisioned. Not thinking and scheming for the future, but letting it happen." - Conan O'Brien (comedian)
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." - Lewis B Smedes (professor of theology and ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary)
"The quest for truth must be carried out by each person individually. It is life breathing, something which no one else can do for us." - Seyyed Hossein Nasr (philosopher, writer, and professor at GWU)
"Giving back involves a certain amount of giving up." - Colin Powell
"Peace that demands unreal conditions is a deception. There is no life wihtout work, anxieties or tensions. Peace is not found in avoiding these but in understanding them and controlling their force." - Sister Wendy Beckett (catholic nun)
"word." - newt (me)
----
all i did today was 'back-to-school' shopping... i hate shopping, at least im done tho...
peace
"Real life is about reacting quickly to the opportunity at hand, not the opportunity you envisioned. Not thinking and scheming for the future, but letting it happen." - Conan O'Brien (comedian)
"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." - Lewis B Smedes (professor of theology and ethics at Fuller Theological Seminary)
"The quest for truth must be carried out by each person individually. It is life breathing, something which no one else can do for us." - Seyyed Hossein Nasr (philosopher, writer, and professor at GWU)
"Giving back involves a certain amount of giving up." - Colin Powell
"Peace that demands unreal conditions is a deception. There is no life wihtout work, anxieties or tensions. Peace is not found in avoiding these but in understanding them and controlling their force." - Sister Wendy Beckett (catholic nun)
"word." - newt (me)
----
all i did today was 'back-to-school' shopping... i hate shopping, at least im done tho...
peace
Sunday, August 04, 2002
this update is personally for jiheon aka jime kay....
sounds fruity but he asked for it... so here it is...
today i realized that im a horrible bowler because when comparing my average score to those of my friends who bowled today, i was a good 10 pts below some of the lowest scores.... i avg around 90 max...
oh well...
listening to tasha right now... she's the ish... ive prob said this b4
... bah im too lazy to type the lyrics... but she can get deep sometimes...
if u can. listen to 'memories (smiling tears)'...
lena park definately has the most beautiful voices ever.
this was mostly a stream of randomness... oh well ...
have you ever wondered if you passed by some stranger today, whom you may meet in the future but never knew it was the same person...
or maybe you drove by some1 who you are meant to meet some day, or maybe even today, but just didnt...
the whole concept of it being a small word can be scary... what if you sat next to some1 on the metro... whom you are going to marry some day... mind boggling isnt it?
every person has their distractions... whether you indulge in it or banish it is up to you. learn to love those around you, as well as those around the people around you. think, before you speak as well as before you act. becareful not to LET yourself be hurt, because sometimes we grasp the pain because its the only thing familiar to us. can you admit your mistakes? good, but can you change?... learn to have faith and trust in humanity, and help those who let you down. it's hard... but where else would you go without ever knowing the way?
jotted down
sounds fruity but he asked for it... so here it is...
today i realized that im a horrible bowler because when comparing my average score to those of my friends who bowled today, i was a good 10 pts below some of the lowest scores.... i avg around 90 max...
oh well...
listening to tasha right now... she's the ish... ive prob said this b4
... bah im too lazy to type the lyrics... but she can get deep sometimes...
if u can. listen to 'memories (smiling tears)'...
lena park definately has the most beautiful voices ever.
this was mostly a stream of randomness... oh well ...
have you ever wondered if you passed by some stranger today, whom you may meet in the future but never knew it was the same person...
or maybe you drove by some1 who you are meant to meet some day, or maybe even today, but just didnt...
the whole concept of it being a small word can be scary... what if you sat next to some1 on the metro... whom you are going to marry some day... mind boggling isnt it?
every person has their distractions... whether you indulge in it or banish it is up to you. learn to love those around you, as well as those around the people around you. think, before you speak as well as before you act. becareful not to LET yourself be hurt, because sometimes we grasp the pain because its the only thing familiar to us. can you admit your mistakes? good, but can you change?... learn to have faith and trust in humanity, and help those who let you down. it's hard... but where else would you go without ever knowing the way?
jotted down
Sunday, July 28, 2002
hows it going folks?
recently i got myself into quite a pickle, but im in the process of digging myself out of it....
besides that not a whole lot has been going on...
i miss some of my friends tho...
i feel like i should just open up everything to everyone.... like go up to each person and just tell them things that i never said to them, or explain things to them... i dunno why.... maybe its cuz i feel like i want closure b4 i go away to school...... im not sure if i should or not tho... i mean its not things like "i hate you, ive just been pretending to be your friend".... more along the lines of "im sorry about blah blah in the past" or.... "you've been a big influence in my life, but you just dunno it"... that type of thing... oh well ill think it over b4 i do nething because sometimes, things are better left just understood and unsaid.... or even unknown in some cases...
alright, its a short update for now.... sorry not much to say at the moment... kind of tired and what not....
peace
recently i got myself into quite a pickle, but im in the process of digging myself out of it....
besides that not a whole lot has been going on...
i miss some of my friends tho...
i feel like i should just open up everything to everyone.... like go up to each person and just tell them things that i never said to them, or explain things to them... i dunno why.... maybe its cuz i feel like i want closure b4 i go away to school...... im not sure if i should or not tho... i mean its not things like "i hate you, ive just been pretending to be your friend".... more along the lines of "im sorry about blah blah in the past" or.... "you've been a big influence in my life, but you just dunno it"... that type of thing... oh well ill think it over b4 i do nething because sometimes, things are better left just understood and unsaid.... or even unknown in some cases...
alright, its a short update for now.... sorry not much to say at the moment... kind of tired and what not....
peace
Sunday, July 14, 2002
---
its sad to say what we have today wont last or stay...
but i guess thats the way, it is, time will pass away...
each of us has to walk our own seperate paths...
and both the good and bad, times are left in the past...
but its definate that, i wont be forgetten the laughs
im thankful for the time we had, im just regrettn its passed.......
i hate saying good bye's...
and how friendships can seem like only one day in a life.....
i want to promise you'll forever stay in my heart, n stay in my mind
hopefully we'll meet again, maybe one day ours fates'll entwine...
---
at this very moment, one particular song comes to mind....
its a duet by two korean singers, kim jo han and page...
the title of the song is "how do I, say good bye?"... and although i havnt paid that much attention
to the lyrics (mainly cuz its in korean), the title is making me think....
just how do i say good bye......
i guess ill leave it as it is....
maybe its a lil late to get sentimental....... or maybe this is normal timing....
either way, as time continues to eat away at summer...
im forced to say my farewells to more and more people.....
its hit me the hardest this past weekend
with the light house dinner for incoming college freshman
and the OFM senior banquet..... ive realized... everything
is about to change.....
i think the absoulte worst part of it all is the fact that.... im forced to say bye
to people whom ive just started a friendship with, its almost like...
"ok im getting to know you, but yea.... sorry it was nice knowing the little i do know of you"
so i guess... this is for those whom ive met just this yr, and whom i may never see again...
goodbye, keep god in your hearts, and remember, through a life of change....
he is the one CONSTANT in your life.....
as the group avalon so beautifully put it
"I could live life alone
And never feel the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but...
I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's now morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without you "
its hard to say.... but it hurts to let go of the ppl close to us.......
but no matter what, dont let go of god....
for that hurts the most of all
farewell, to those who've already left my life, im sorry i couldnt relay this msg to you all sooner....
hopefully some of you will be able to catch this, b4 you move on....
peace, one love
its sad to say what we have today wont last or stay...
but i guess thats the way, it is, time will pass away...
each of us has to walk our own seperate paths...
and both the good and bad, times are left in the past...
but its definate that, i wont be forgetten the laughs
im thankful for the time we had, im just regrettn its passed.......
i hate saying good bye's...
and how friendships can seem like only one day in a life.....
i want to promise you'll forever stay in my heart, n stay in my mind
hopefully we'll meet again, maybe one day ours fates'll entwine...
---
at this very moment, one particular song comes to mind....
its a duet by two korean singers, kim jo han and page...
the title of the song is "how do I, say good bye?"... and although i havnt paid that much attention
to the lyrics (mainly cuz its in korean), the title is making me think....
just how do i say good bye......
i guess ill leave it as it is....
maybe its a lil late to get sentimental....... or maybe this is normal timing....
either way, as time continues to eat away at summer...
im forced to say my farewells to more and more people.....
its hit me the hardest this past weekend
with the light house dinner for incoming college freshman
and the OFM senior banquet..... ive realized... everything
is about to change.....
i think the absoulte worst part of it all is the fact that.... im forced to say bye
to people whom ive just started a friendship with, its almost like...
"ok im getting to know you, but yea.... sorry it was nice knowing the little i do know of you"
so i guess... this is for those whom ive met just this yr, and whom i may never see again...
goodbye, keep god in your hearts, and remember, through a life of change....
he is the one CONSTANT in your life.....
as the group avalon so beautifully put it
"I could live life alone
And never feel the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but...
I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's now morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without you "
its hard to say.... but it hurts to let go of the ppl close to us.......
but no matter what, dont let go of god....
for that hurts the most of all
farewell, to those who've already left my life, im sorry i couldnt relay this msg to you all sooner....
hopefully some of you will be able to catch this, b4 you move on....
peace, one love
Tuesday, July 02, 2002
blah blah blah......
i am the laziest man alive.... sorry for the lack of updates my peoples......
i mean... what can i say? its been an awesome month........
everything's been happ'n u know what i mean?
well..... i had prom on may 31st... its been over a month i know..... but that was an awesome night......
awesome date, awesome time, awesome experience..... what can i say?
if u wanna see pictures i posted some up at kp....
CLICK HERE FOR PROM PICS
and if u want to know anything else just ask me in person cuz im too lazy to type up a description of the entire night..
after that was graduation..... it was kind of a ..... numb experience...... like it never hit me that ive graduated.... it just happened... and im still not feeling like... SUPER DIFFERENT you know? im just kind of relieved that this chapter is over and a new one is begginning......well... perhaps soon...
so what's been going on lately?..... hm.... not much i suppose.....
lots of bday's have been happening..... namely kt and jiheon.... turned 16 and 17 respectively..... hm.... i went to each of their parties... had a lot of fun at both....
the week before that i went down to richmond and attended a vigil in memory of mrs nancy cho (lily's mom) and other victims of violence... that was... a pretty sobering experience.......
and the past week has been world cup fever!... in fact..... i have come to find a new found love in soccer... i mean i loved soccer b4.... but... now i REALLY love soccer....
haha just check this out....
haha she's just a KOREAN FAN... man i love korea...... GO KOREA!... too bad its all over but oh well... hahaha
but u know why therea are pics of her floating around the internet? check it out
hahaha all of korea sweats her
well..... k that's it for now.... just cruising through summer... ill work on updating more... peace
i am the laziest man alive.... sorry for the lack of updates my peoples......
i mean... what can i say? its been an awesome month........
everything's been happ'n u know what i mean?
well..... i had prom on may 31st... its been over a month i know..... but that was an awesome night......
awesome date, awesome time, awesome experience..... what can i say?
if u wanna see pictures i posted some up at kp....
CLICK HERE FOR PROM PICS
and if u want to know anything else just ask me in person cuz im too lazy to type up a description of the entire night..
after that was graduation..... it was kind of a ..... numb experience...... like it never hit me that ive graduated.... it just happened... and im still not feeling like... SUPER DIFFERENT you know? im just kind of relieved that this chapter is over and a new one is begginning......well... perhaps soon...
so what's been going on lately?..... hm.... not much i suppose.....
lots of bday's have been happening..... namely kt and jiheon.... turned 16 and 17 respectively..... hm.... i went to each of their parties... had a lot of fun at both....
the week before that i went down to richmond and attended a vigil in memory of mrs nancy cho (lily's mom) and other victims of violence... that was... a pretty sobering experience.......
and the past week has been world cup fever!... in fact..... i have come to find a new found love in soccer... i mean i loved soccer b4.... but... now i REALLY love soccer....
haha just check this out....
haha she's just a KOREAN FAN... man i love korea...... GO KOREA!... too bad its all over but oh well... hahaha
but u know why therea are pics of her floating around the internet? check it out
hahaha all of korea sweats her
well..... k that's it for now.... just cruising through summer... ill work on updating more... peace
Friday, May 31, 2002
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
hey what's up everyone...
i promised hanna an update so here it is..
ok so here's what's going on:
school ended for me last friday..... its actually really sad, but i guess im still excited about graduation.... its kind of funny that the closer i got to the end of the year the less ready i felt to get away from it all... at the beginning of the year i was ready to call it quits, now i find myself sitting at home alone sort of wishing i was still back at school laughing it up with my peoples... oh well... im gonna figure out something small to dedicate to my peoples in the end anyhow...
well i have prom in TWO DAYS... the dinner plans are sort of up in the air but something will work out eventually... at least i hope... but i cant wait.. this will be a totally refreshing experience for me... and i get to see brisca dance! hehehe
and yea... on monday i graduate.... wow..... so soon.... i dunno how im gonna feel by the time it gets here but as of right now it all feels so far away...
this past weekend i had a family retreat over at west river.... that place is beautiful..... its kinda like dawson's creek..... the docks and everything.... a lot of fun moments took place there.... and it was a very laid back, chill, bonding fellowship time type of retreat... i was a small group leader cuz being one of the oldest kids there and being there was a lack of counselours, my jundo steve asked me to be one... and that was a blessing of an experience... i thank god so much in general for hte retreat... there were times where i laughed so hard i got a headache afterwards and my gut hurt
one of hte most memorable moments of the retreat was the hip hop sessions..... it all started by me and jason fooling around by making a beat... then gradually one by one more and more guys came up and start beat boxing with us... and so pretty soon we had like 6-8 guys in a circle beatboxing.. making these beats with out mouths... then jason started popping a lil bit... but then we moved on to some good ol freestyle and cypher rap sessions.... haha it was so funny... mr jiheon was going nuts, he was so hyper... rapping in chinese accents and what not.... some memorable lines from the hiphop sessions were:
jiheon: last night, i saw your penis/ it was, the size of my pinky!
edwin: eyo!... eyo! eyo!... eyo eyo eyo!... eyo! this is for all my ofm peoples... eyo! ...eyo! eyo!... ofm this is for you! eyo! ....
jason: hey newt, u cant step up to me, you're just a phony/ u got a small sausage there and two pepporoni's/
me: eyo we all know about jason's farts, you know its foul/ but u know what he should do? shave his unibrow!/
me again: eyo daniel, when it comes to rapping, you wish you were me/ but nah u cant be cuz u havnt gone through puberty!/
and of course there were like a 100 other funny moments but i just cant remember very clearly... jiheon had most of them tho... but yea that was definately tight...
another tight aspect of the retreat was just chilling on the docks... talking... that was real bonding time... and i got to bond with my small group as well... here's a quick shoutout to my small group peoples: (we made nicknames for one another)
susan --> flipper
mimi --> dot
myong --> harry potter
jason --> pumba
chanmin --> butta
lisa --> hanson
michelle --> cheleh
yea anyhow... that was that hehe... im just looking forward to the retreat in august... 5 days baby! 4 churches! dun dun dun!
god's truly been blessing me...
alright well i have nothing else to say for now... ill up date again soon, hopefully with some pictures
i promised hanna an update so here it is..
ok so here's what's going on:
school ended for me last friday..... its actually really sad, but i guess im still excited about graduation.... its kind of funny that the closer i got to the end of the year the less ready i felt to get away from it all... at the beginning of the year i was ready to call it quits, now i find myself sitting at home alone sort of wishing i was still back at school laughing it up with my peoples... oh well... im gonna figure out something small to dedicate to my peoples in the end anyhow...
well i have prom in TWO DAYS... the dinner plans are sort of up in the air but something will work out eventually... at least i hope... but i cant wait.. this will be a totally refreshing experience for me... and i get to see brisca dance! hehehe
and yea... on monday i graduate.... wow..... so soon.... i dunno how im gonna feel by the time it gets here but as of right now it all feels so far away...
this past weekend i had a family retreat over at west river.... that place is beautiful..... its kinda like dawson's creek..... the docks and everything.... a lot of fun moments took place there.... and it was a very laid back, chill, bonding fellowship time type of retreat... i was a small group leader cuz being one of the oldest kids there and being there was a lack of counselours, my jundo steve asked me to be one... and that was a blessing of an experience... i thank god so much in general for hte retreat... there were times where i laughed so hard i got a headache afterwards and my gut hurt
one of hte most memorable moments of the retreat was the hip hop sessions..... it all started by me and jason fooling around by making a beat... then gradually one by one more and more guys came up and start beat boxing with us... and so pretty soon we had like 6-8 guys in a circle beatboxing.. making these beats with out mouths... then jason started popping a lil bit... but then we moved on to some good ol freestyle and cypher rap sessions.... haha it was so funny... mr jiheon was going nuts, he was so hyper... rapping in chinese accents and what not.... some memorable lines from the hiphop sessions were:
jiheon: last night, i saw your penis/ it was, the size of my pinky!
edwin: eyo!... eyo! eyo!... eyo eyo eyo!... eyo! this is for all my ofm peoples... eyo! ...eyo! eyo!... ofm this is for you! eyo! ....
jason: hey newt, u cant step up to me, you're just a phony/ u got a small sausage there and two pepporoni's/
me: eyo we all know about jason's farts, you know its foul/ but u know what he should do? shave his unibrow!/
me again: eyo daniel, when it comes to rapping, you wish you were me/ but nah u cant be cuz u havnt gone through puberty!/
and of course there were like a 100 other funny moments but i just cant remember very clearly... jiheon had most of them tho... but yea that was definately tight...
another tight aspect of the retreat was just chilling on the docks... talking... that was real bonding time... and i got to bond with my small group as well... here's a quick shoutout to my small group peoples: (we made nicknames for one another)
susan --> flipper
mimi --> dot
myong --> harry potter
jason --> pumba
chanmin --> butta
lisa --> hanson
michelle --> cheleh
yea anyhow... that was that hehe... im just looking forward to the retreat in august... 5 days baby! 4 churches! dun dun dun!
god's truly been blessing me...
alright well i have nothing else to say for now... ill up date again soon, hopefully with some pictures
Monday, May 20, 2002
how's it going guys... once again i know updates are becoming increasingly more scarce... but yea.. i guess things'll improve as summer comes up... which reminds me btw... 4 more days! then im done with school... wow its all coming up a lil too fast if u ask me...
ok ne how here's a quick update:
last friday i had int'l night at my school, i really didnt feel like doing it by the time friday rolled around cuz my group had abosoluetly nothing prepared... but im glad i stuck with it after the insistence of the other group members cuz it all came together rather nicely in the end... there were a lot of indian acts and like 2 fashion shows and what not... i suppose the highlight was the Northwest guys who did Yo! by shinhwa... cuz they practiced hard and really had everything in place... as for our act we mixed things up with some tasha, roora, tashannie, and jinusean... a mix of vocal performances as well as some breaking... which really got the crowd pumped which in turn got us pumped....
afterwards i dropped my friends off and i went to one of my friend's birtyday party... it was her sweet 16 party so her parents went out and got a DJ.... haha and well.... as i arrived some people were going crazy with the mic hooked up to the sound system singing along with the songs... no real dancing was going on... but then a group of girls who were hanging out up stairs decided to come down and they started dancing... along with the birthday girl herself (ashley)... and WHOA.... she totally caught me off gaurd cuz she has some moves... i did not expect her to be able to dance like that... i still cant imagine it even after seeing it.. i must say i was impressed... her hips were moving like.... a wave... hahah it was crazy....
i left the party and came home and slept.... cuz.... i had UMBC placement testing the next morning... and so i woke up on saturday morning... and i drove my butt to baltimore... took my tests. LUCKILY i wasnt completely alone cuz i ran into another friend from my school who was taking the tests at the same time i was... anyhow i got there around 8 and i left around 12:30.... it wasnt incredibly hard or anything... just long... but they provided free bagels and juice... and they had pretty darn good bagels hehe... yea anyhow i came home that day, took my sister out to lunc ath this AWESOME mexican grill place called chipotle's whici had been to only once b4, and she loved it as well, then i came home and slept for a couple hours... and i went to church, had bible study, and that was that... sunday i went to church again... then softball... then afterwards i ate so much i felt soo friggn fat...
i ate mcdonald's with jeremy and company after softball, then i went home and voila... there was kenny's subs waiting for me... who am i to deny kenny? hahaha so i ate that too.... and... yea... i definately couldnt move after that...
well i guess its fair to say that i am starting to finally get excited/emotional about the end of the year.... however i opted not to attend my school's senior banquet because it was 20 bucks and i i decided it would not be such a wise investment because most of my fondest memories involved my church peoples^^... im still gonna miss my QO people's tho.... especially my kids *sniff*...
and as for prom... im getting ready for that, tomorrow im gonna go out and place an order for a corsage for brisca... and such and such.... i need to buy tickets still hahaha.. ill do that tomorrow too... and also pay my friend for the limo costs... aish so much money... but im sure it'll be worth it, im def looking forward to it...
speaking of prom... jiheon, lily, and sang and hanna had theirs.. a couple weeks ago.. here are some pics highlighting there evening...
haha some are kinda funny... especially jiheon... he's so goofy sometimes.... but i must say hanna and lily looked quiet elegant... GOOD JOB gals^^...
hmm any more news?...
oh yea i had my court trial today.... that was fun... hahaha...
well i arrived a lil bit late and as soon as i walked in the door the judged called my name... so i lucked out on timing... and... i told my story, the judge didnt seem the care, he seemed like he just wanted the heck outta there so he was like. ok... you're guilty (cuz i pleaded so) and ill lower your fee to 40 bucks and you gotta take a driver's improvement course...
yea so i dont haev any points on my licence but i gotta take a darn course now.. but all good.. better then nothing... im actually pleased the way things turned out....
ok i have nothing more to jabber on about that i can think of off the top of my head... perhaps ill up date again later tonite... if not... until next time cya!
ok ne how here's a quick update:
last friday i had int'l night at my school, i really didnt feel like doing it by the time friday rolled around cuz my group had abosoluetly nothing prepared... but im glad i stuck with it after the insistence of the other group members cuz it all came together rather nicely in the end... there were a lot of indian acts and like 2 fashion shows and what not... i suppose the highlight was the Northwest guys who did Yo! by shinhwa... cuz they practiced hard and really had everything in place... as for our act we mixed things up with some tasha, roora, tashannie, and jinusean... a mix of vocal performances as well as some breaking... which really got the crowd pumped which in turn got us pumped....
afterwards i dropped my friends off and i went to one of my friend's birtyday party... it was her sweet 16 party so her parents went out and got a DJ.... haha and well.... as i arrived some people were going crazy with the mic hooked up to the sound system singing along with the songs... no real dancing was going on... but then a group of girls who were hanging out up stairs decided to come down and they started dancing... along with the birthday girl herself (ashley)... and WHOA.... she totally caught me off gaurd cuz she has some moves... i did not expect her to be able to dance like that... i still cant imagine it even after seeing it.. i must say i was impressed... her hips were moving like.... a wave... hahah it was crazy....
i left the party and came home and slept.... cuz.... i had UMBC placement testing the next morning... and so i woke up on saturday morning... and i drove my butt to baltimore... took my tests. LUCKILY i wasnt completely alone cuz i ran into another friend from my school who was taking the tests at the same time i was... anyhow i got there around 8 and i left around 12:30.... it wasnt incredibly hard or anything... just long... but they provided free bagels and juice... and they had pretty darn good bagels hehe... yea anyhow i came home that day, took my sister out to lunc ath this AWESOME mexican grill place called chipotle's whici had been to only once b4, and she loved it as well, then i came home and slept for a couple hours... and i went to church, had bible study, and that was that... sunday i went to church again... then softball... then afterwards i ate so much i felt soo friggn fat...
i ate mcdonald's with jeremy and company after softball, then i went home and voila... there was kenny's subs waiting for me... who am i to deny kenny? hahaha so i ate that too.... and... yea... i definately couldnt move after that...
well i guess its fair to say that i am starting to finally get excited/emotional about the end of the year.... however i opted not to attend my school's senior banquet because it was 20 bucks and i i decided it would not be such a wise investment because most of my fondest memories involved my church peoples^^... im still gonna miss my QO people's tho.... especially my kids *sniff*...
and as for prom... im getting ready for that, tomorrow im gonna go out and place an order for a corsage for brisca... and such and such.... i need to buy tickets still hahaha.. ill do that tomorrow too... and also pay my friend for the limo costs... aish so much money... but im sure it'll be worth it, im def looking forward to it...
speaking of prom... jiheon, lily, and sang and hanna had theirs.. a couple weeks ago.. here are some pics highlighting there evening...
haha some are kinda funny... especially jiheon... he's so goofy sometimes.... but i must say hanna and lily looked quiet elegant... GOOD JOB gals^^...
hmm any more news?...
oh yea i had my court trial today.... that was fun... hahaha...
well i arrived a lil bit late and as soon as i walked in the door the judged called my name... so i lucked out on timing... and... i told my story, the judge didnt seem the care, he seemed like he just wanted the heck outta there so he was like. ok... you're guilty (cuz i pleaded so) and ill lower your fee to 40 bucks and you gotta take a driver's improvement course...
yea so i dont haev any points on my licence but i gotta take a darn course now.. but all good.. better then nothing... im actually pleased the way things turned out....
ok i have nothing more to jabber on about that i can think of off the top of my head... perhaps ill up date again later tonite... if not... until next time cya!
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
hey everyone...
i know updates are starting to get few and far in between... but i promise once school is over it'll start to come around more often... its just a lot of things have been going down lately... lots of end of the yr things happening... so yea..... i took my AP Stat exam today... eh... i really cant tell how well i did... im hoping for a 4 ... but a 3 shall do too...... i have ap bio and world coming up soon and im gonna really start heavy review for those tomorrow... today i just chilled after the exam hehe..... didnt feel like using any more brain power.....
prom is coming up..... i got my tux today.... well i ordered it and stuff and ill pick it up right b4 prom which is on the 31st....heh, supposedly i was supposed to lose weight b4 i got my tux... didnt happen... ill try to get a lil more in shape b4 summer... ive just been too darn bz... and when im not bz just too darn lazy... well i guess its time to start practicing the good ol dance moves..... as if i had any...
jiheon and lily...... behave yourselves this saturday night.... dont party too hard now... haha seriously tho i hope you guys have fun...
what's been going on lately? well... i almost didnt qualify to graduate cuz good ol' me didnt turn in enough service hours to be counted but last week i grabbed what i could from my TV crew thing and turned it in so now im eligible to gradute..... how dumb am i eh? if i had turned in all my paperwork i would have had 300+ easily... all good... the number isnt importnat... just my name on that darn high school diploma is....... slowly but surely taking those steps closer to college
i have a new found infatuation with boa...... i really didnt like her in her first album days, but ever since she started touring in japan.. man she grew up...... she's friggn gorgeous, has a pretty darn good voice and can dance like WHOA... if i meet a girl like that in college...... oh man.... id be in heaven... seriously tho. she's so friggn cool now...
hehe im also very happy that Tasha's new album came out... and she has returned to her hip hop roots... and god she's friggn talented... everyone GET THIS ALBUM SOMEHOW.... buy... download.....borrow a friends...... whatever.... its really good
and last but not least... i dl'd a track of lena park and kim jo han singing a whole new world together..... these ppl were made to sing together... its like... what im listening to 24-7 now... lena park is the ish.... too bad she's 26.....
ok i have nothing else to ramble on about...... cyaaaaaaaaa
i know updates are starting to get few and far in between... but i promise once school is over it'll start to come around more often... its just a lot of things have been going down lately... lots of end of the yr things happening... so yea..... i took my AP Stat exam today... eh... i really cant tell how well i did... im hoping for a 4 ... but a 3 shall do too...... i have ap bio and world coming up soon and im gonna really start heavy review for those tomorrow... today i just chilled after the exam hehe..... didnt feel like using any more brain power.....
prom is coming up..... i got my tux today.... well i ordered it and stuff and ill pick it up right b4 prom which is on the 31st....heh, supposedly i was supposed to lose weight b4 i got my tux... didnt happen... ill try to get a lil more in shape b4 summer... ive just been too darn bz... and when im not bz just too darn lazy... well i guess its time to start practicing the good ol dance moves..... as if i had any...
jiheon and lily...... behave yourselves this saturday night.... dont party too hard now... haha seriously tho i hope you guys have fun...
what's been going on lately? well... i almost didnt qualify to graduate cuz good ol' me didnt turn in enough service hours to be counted but last week i grabbed what i could from my TV crew thing and turned it in so now im eligible to gradute..... how dumb am i eh? if i had turned in all my paperwork i would have had 300+ easily... all good... the number isnt importnat... just my name on that darn high school diploma is....... slowly but surely taking those steps closer to college
i have a new found infatuation with boa...... i really didnt like her in her first album days, but ever since she started touring in japan.. man she grew up...... she's friggn gorgeous, has a pretty darn good voice and can dance like WHOA... if i meet a girl like that in college...... oh man.... id be in heaven... seriously tho. she's so friggn cool now...
hehe im also very happy that Tasha's new album came out... and she has returned to her hip hop roots... and god she's friggn talented... everyone GET THIS ALBUM SOMEHOW.... buy... download.....borrow a friends...... whatever.... its really good
and last but not least... i dl'd a track of lena park and kim jo han singing a whole new world together..... these ppl were made to sing together... its like... what im listening to 24-7 now... lena park is the ish.... too bad she's 26.....
ok i have nothing else to ramble on about...... cyaaaaaaaaa
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
WOOHOO!
You're Jasmine!
You are one of the first Disney princesses to stand up for her rights as a woman. While you may NOT be a prize to be won, you are still quite the hottie, especially in that red harem girl outfit. Even when things may not seem the best at home, try to remember that running away from your problems solves little. You are easily tricked and manipulated, both by your enemies and people who love you. You have a special fondness for tigers.
more personality tests.... fun fun....
oh btw that's the kind of princess i am.....
WHICH ONE ARE YOU!?
k that's it bye
You're Jasmine!
You are one of the first Disney princesses to stand up for her rights as a woman. While you may NOT be a prize to be won, you are still quite the hottie, especially in that red harem girl outfit. Even when things may not seem the best at home, try to remember that running away from your problems solves little. You are easily tricked and manipulated, both by your enemies and people who love you. You have a special fondness for tigers.
more personality tests.... fun fun....
oh btw that's the kind of princess i am.....
WHICH ONE ARE YOU!?
k that's it bye
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Yo, all I need is one mic, one beat, one stage
One nigga front, my face on the front page
Only if I had one gun, one girl and one crib
One God to show me how to do things his son did
- excerpt from One Mic by Nas
that's prob the only song i really like off his stillmatic album...
there should be more MC's who are socially concious... as opposed to all this commercialized Fabulous/Ludicrous/Jay-Z/Nelly crap....
heh, in case u cant tell im starting to get back into hip hop again... in fact in college i think im gonna start a hip hop ministry or something... i hope there are other christian lyricsts at UMBC...
ne how...
*phew* last couple weeks have been crazy... lots of good and bad things happening....
"good or bad news today, who's to say?/
for every decision we choose to make/
we all got our consequences and dues to pay/
too much to lose at stake?/
better hold on and get used to fate/
its today's sorrow, but tomorrow's blessing/
so lets try to get through our own testings/
if evil wants me to fall, ill let her wait/
i wont lose hope...
tomorrow, perhaps will be a better day/"
- that just came off the top of my head as i was writing today's post... basically sums up how things are going, i realize things arent too hot in a lot of areas in my life as well as others, but ill take things as they come, what may be bad may be blessings in disguise.... what has me lost in confusion, i will remember god's got it all worked out...
"people come and go/
memories fade, even if u wont let go/
but their influence is unequaled/
for they always remain, one in soul/"
im just spittn out things randomly here..... sometimes it hurts to say goodbye... but always remember, in some way, shape, or form, they changed your life.... and that is worth everything.....
i sent in my UMBC stuff... here i come...
graduation soon.... just those darn AP's first.... but afterwards i am done....
i dunno.... i apologize for the lack of entries lately, as i said, its been crazy.... and quite frankly i dont really feel like doing that whole memoirs thing...... so as of right now its discontinued... whenever i have some significant memory to share, ill share, if not, i wont try to remember things that dont really apply to nething...
song of the moment:
lena park - PS I love you
speaking of which....
if u are reading this, and u can sing like lena park, or have that type of sweet voice, and happen to be considering going to UMBC please do come and keep me company freshman yr.... cuz i can gaurentee ill fall in love with your voice^^ ill be your biggest fan.....
ok that was random....
bye
One nigga front, my face on the front page
Only if I had one gun, one girl and one crib
One God to show me how to do things his son did
- excerpt from One Mic by Nas
that's prob the only song i really like off his stillmatic album...
there should be more MC's who are socially concious... as opposed to all this commercialized Fabulous/Ludicrous/Jay-Z/Nelly crap....
heh, in case u cant tell im starting to get back into hip hop again... in fact in college i think im gonna start a hip hop ministry or something... i hope there are other christian lyricsts at UMBC...
ne how...
*phew* last couple weeks have been crazy... lots of good and bad things happening....
"good or bad news today, who's to say?/
for every decision we choose to make/
we all got our consequences and dues to pay/
too much to lose at stake?/
better hold on and get used to fate/
its today's sorrow, but tomorrow's blessing/
so lets try to get through our own testings/
if evil wants me to fall, ill let her wait/
i wont lose hope...
tomorrow, perhaps will be a better day/"
- that just came off the top of my head as i was writing today's post... basically sums up how things are going, i realize things arent too hot in a lot of areas in my life as well as others, but ill take things as they come, what may be bad may be blessings in disguise.... what has me lost in confusion, i will remember god's got it all worked out...
"people come and go/
memories fade, even if u wont let go/
but their influence is unequaled/
for they always remain, one in soul/"
im just spittn out things randomly here..... sometimes it hurts to say goodbye... but always remember, in some way, shape, or form, they changed your life.... and that is worth everything.....
i sent in my UMBC stuff... here i come...
graduation soon.... just those darn AP's first.... but afterwards i am done....
i dunno.... i apologize for the lack of entries lately, as i said, its been crazy.... and quite frankly i dont really feel like doing that whole memoirs thing...... so as of right now its discontinued... whenever i have some significant memory to share, ill share, if not, i wont try to remember things that dont really apply to nething...
song of the moment:
lena park - PS I love you
speaking of which....
if u are reading this, and u can sing like lena park, or have that type of sweet voice, and happen to be considering going to UMBC please do come and keep me company freshman yr.... cuz i can gaurentee ill fall in love with your voice^^ ill be your biggest fan.....
ok that was random....
bye
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Monday, April 15, 2002
Picture time!
my fob pose at Balt, inner harbor... this will be 15 min away from where i go to school next year
soy, me, and irene tryna look sad
me, soy, irene
me and irene
irene
irene, soyoung
irene, me
pics from noraebang (brisca and irene)
me, brisca, irene
jeremy, irene
a bunch of people b4 the avalon concert
me and lily at the avalon concert
dcho, irene
pics of me being insane
k that's my update.....
my fob pose at Balt, inner harbor... this will be 15 min away from where i go to school next year
soy, me, and irene tryna look sad
me, soy, irene
me and irene
irene
irene, soyoung
irene, me
pics from noraebang (brisca and irene)
me, brisca, irene
jeremy, irene
a bunch of people b4 the avalon concert
me and lily at the avalon concert
dcho, irene
pics of me being insane
k that's my update.....