hey~

for the first time in a long time ive actually started to receive compliments from my teachers... i forgot what it felt like since it hasnt happened in so long, seriously haha, even though its the last week of the second marking period of my last important semester, i just started putting in a lot more effort in my work now.... woohoo! =)

if any of you have the resources and the knowhow to do so.. download a song from park ji yoon's new album... its track 12.... it features willa ford the title is nastified.... its quite fun to listen to, its not THAT great of a song but park ji yoon has fairly good english and she and willa switch off a lot so u get to hear them both... its pretty funny how park ji yoon has taken on willa's style in this song.... that edgy hard girly pop style u know waht i mean? other notable korean releases recently are this new gropu called 5tion (Oh-tion, OCEAN) get it? dumb name but nice album..... and this one guy named rich... peep em if u got the time... in terms of american songs, i know im late but.... the world's greatest is SUCH A GOOD SONG....... im lovn it right now

im gonna go ahead and name my top 10 fav songs of 2001 (they may not have necessarily came out in 2001)
10. This is a tie between two tupac songs.... Unconditional Love and Life Goes On, these are the slow hip hop chill type of songs that just get me in the mood to sit back and chill
9.LifeHouse - Hanging By A Moment, although they wont come out as full on jesus freaks, i enjoy their subtle messages of christianity in their songs, and this song was just SO DARN CATCHY
8. 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite, this was was just so darn catchy i never got sick of it
7. 2000 mp hip hop project - Cho; even this came out in 2000, i listened to this track so much in 2001, its one of my fav hip hop songs of all time
6. CB Mass - movement II, this was just incredibly tite
5. As One - Mama, such a graet song and a wonderful dedication to all mothers out there
4. Brown Eyes - BuhSuhl 1Nyun, most ppl know this song already... if you dont... shame on you!, its an incredibly great song
3. Utada Hikaru - First Love, this song NEVER gets old......
2. Mountain Brothers - Galaxies; one of the greatest hip hop songs of all time..... by asians representing in the US
1. S Club 7 - never had a dream..... call me a teeny bopper but im sorry, i think this has to be one of the catchiest ballads ever.... and its so soothing

as u can tell, ive been listening to a lot of music hahaha

k well im bored, i dont have much else to say... maybe later tata

good evening everyone~
it's thursday evening.... almost friday.. but its not hehe
guess what? ive got some good news, i am literally 99% due with my college apps, i just have to write one more essay for v-tech, then submit it online, i think i may do that tonite... hehe well now that the whole app process is almost done and out of the way ill list the schools i applied to, give a lil description and also what i wrote about for the essay's

University of California (Berkley, Irvine, Davis) - As you can tell, since i applied to THREE california campuses, i really want to go there haha, berkley i really dont have a chance, but its a long shot, Irvine and Davis... its actually pretty unlikely but i have a greater chance then Berkley... for the essay, it was just a random personal statement, so i wrote about my experiences with Christian Hip Hop (BTW, california has the HARDEST APP, its pretty compicated, i did a paper app)

University of Colorado at Boulder - This school looked really nice and had a very high acceptance rate and is also a pretty decent school, so it appealed to me... i used the same essay as the california school's (this was on paper as well)

University of Virginia - this is another SUPER reach school, with my very very modest gpa... and that's putting it nicely, but it was prob one of the more challenging apps for me due to the NUMEROUS essays... i wrote about my fav word (had to make one up, ended up with speechless), i also wrote about some form of art or science that has affected me (i used a qoute by DC Talk), and lastly I had a 500 word personal statement to write, and i was sick of thinkign so i just wrote about my fav kinda girl haha, i wonder how they will take that..... ( i did this online)

University of North Carolina - This is another school that is a reach for me, plus the out of state rate is pretty low there, but oh well im giving it a shot, i wrote on a topic asking if i could start a college course, what would it be on, i said hip hop, and i also wrote about a challenging personal experience (this past summer's mission trip at Arizona) (i did this online too)

Pennsylvania State University - I have a feeling i MAY get in here but not the main campus, possibly one of the smaller ones, Im not sure if id want to go in that case, but anyhow, there was one brief essay asking for me to tell somethign about me that would make me stand out from the others, so i wrote about how i write and rap hip hop ( this was online as well)

Virginia Tech University - This app was prob the easiest of all of them, but i still have to submit it online and finish up the essay, but stil its the easiest one, I think i may get in here, and i wouldnt mind too much going there, and im still thinking as to what to write about

University of Maryland College Park - Last but not least, the home schools, I think ill get in here, if i dont... then boo for me... i really rather not go so close to home tho, but anyhow i just recycled my california essay with some minor adjustments (did it online)

University of Maryland Baltimore County - This app was fairly simple with a brief essay response, I chose to write on the quote "life is short, art is long"... (paper app)

wow... i applied to ten schools... haha if i do not get into any of them, it's only because of my GPA..... so u can get an idea as to how low it really is.... so let this be a lesson learned for all you underclass man... DO YOUR WORK! DONT SLACK OFF! and STOP PROCRASTINATING..... it killed me.... aish... hopefully ill get in somewhere.... other than maryland too..... but u know what they say.... beggars cant be choosers

hmm anyhow... what else is happening with me.... ok well as i wrote this i just decided.... im gonna start to go through some self improvements... perhaps im a week or so behind for new yrs resolutions, but better late than never right? for those of you who can, and are reading this, please keep me accountable for the following

1) follow my discipleship covenant, even though its not finished, but whatever we have put down so far
2) dont let myself slide too much second semester
3) start working out as soon as finals are over

if you have any other's for me, id very much appreciate if you honestly told me ^^

sometimes i think i make my entries too long, or at least they seem that way because the column is so thin.... but oh well haha, im not sure if this is meant more for ppl to read or more for me to just babble on and on and waist my time....

well guess what everyone...... i'm not in such a mushy lovey dovey mood so much anymore like i have been for the past month or so... haha lately i've been wanting a relationship pretty badly, and the fact that ive become attracted to some1 that seemed, i dunno so promising? i cant really explain, but it was my first real REAL attraction in a while, i mean since the beg of summer ive had the superficial, light kind of crush where im jockn some girl, cuz she's cute or cuz my hormones have nothing better to do, but it wasnt quite like that in this case.... i guess it show's in my past entries, i always sound so down or something when i talk about this stuff haha oh well.... now im not sure if its cuz i dont care as much, if the attraction is starting to fade.... or its jsut temporarily sub sided or something, but I havent been like pressed over her lately, I mean i do really enjoy her company and conversing with her and what not, but its no longer.... "crap, how do i stop thinking about her, crap stop it... newt....... stop it!... ok i think i.... DOH!" hahahaha.... i think overall this is a very good thing for me... well it is as long as one thing doesnt happen..... this fades completely and i fall for some1 else... that would suck, id much rather stay jockn this current yuj then some other random girl...... i think the best case scenario would be.... my darn testosterone calms down until college... hehe

k ill shut up now... im tired of typing....
later alligator

hey... long time no update eh?.... well sorry for the lack of updates but yea, ive been lazy.... hmmm i guess ill open today's entry with a short piece i wrote, the theme is "undying love"... me and my friend were planning on spitting this piece at a retreat this past winter break but yea, it fell through so i no longer need to hide it in secrecy.... i hope this speaks to some of you....

his love goes on and on forever, like energizer/
even when we turn away, and think men are wiser/
he heals our wounds and nurses us when our lives hurt/
his love’ll clean the dirt of your palms, like hand sanitizer/
unlike man, whom attempts to live forever, but dies trying/
God’s love cant be stopped, its like time flying/
you can say your fine, but your heart and mind’s crying/
and you may never know why, so you just try to lie smiling/
it may seem like during ya darkest times, God disappears/
but he never left ya side, just in da dark, all isn’t clear/
but his spirit is like your shadow, it may not always appear/
you may feel abandoned, when travelin life’s hallways in fear/
but when the light shines again, you’ll just fall into tears/
cuz when the shadow reappears, u’ll know that thru it all he was near/
imagine never reaching a busy signal, as you make a call/
imagine never having mail returned, cuz the address was gone/
imagine never not being heard, cuz you were the last one to talk/
imagine never running out of toilet paper, (now that’s worst of all)/
now that’s what His love is like, so big, it fathoms the stars/
what never dies and lives forever? His love’ll last through it all/

aight i guess my last entry left off a lil bit after thanksgiving... since then not much has happened... uhm i guess winter break finally crept up and the holiday season began... for the first time in months i just got to hang out whenever i wanted... haha it was a good break, christmas came and went.... the retreat came, lots of funny memories... it was prob the most educating retreat ive ever had... although it didnt put my "spirits" on fire...... but i did learn a lot about myself and where i stand at this retreat...i dont have too many experiences like that... usually its all about the faith at the retreat......

well i guess i might as well venture on into my faith in general... i guess i havnt had a "spiritual high", since last winter retreat, and well i havnt been having lows either, its jsut ive been quite...unmoving.... haha, and i guess ive just sorta grown to miss it and tired of waiting for the next big thing, and perhaps its caused me to lose motivation to pursue my faith, the retreat helped me to see that, and i guess it reassured me that eventuallly, god will work in his own time, so i have to keep my head up right?... haha so i guess those of you reading this, just pray that i contine to strive to be close with god.....regardless of waht else is going on, because yea, i geuss its just been discouraging when ur so accustomed to the highs at least a cuople times a yr, but for a whole year you dont experience on.... its definnatly something new ive been dealing with....

whats up with college eh?, well i guess im 80-90% done with apps.... woohoo! haha, and im beggining to not care as much so im just kinda having fun with the essays... for one of the essays i just wrote about my fav kinda girl... i wonder what the admissions comittee will think of that hahaha, anyways im just hoping ONE of the TEN places i applied will take me in...

so what else has been going on my life? over break i just did a lot of chilling, i went to visit my VA friends as well... and i just had a stressfree week i suppose.... or at least for the most part, i basically cant wait for 2nd semester, when everything matters so much less

lately i guess ive also been thinking about friendships more... im really gonna miss my friends when and if i go away to college.... they always help me to forget about my stress and problems when im with them, and they help me to just kick it back and have fun, esp since some of the funniest moments happen with them.... whether it be dance, fart, or just plain stupid related fun...

i guess i might as well talk about my current throughts of the moment on everyone's FAVORITE subject...... looooooooooove........
right now im torn..... im sick of wanting that relationship, yet i cant get sick enough of it to the point where i dont want it anymore.... i guess im sick of the whole "relationship" schpeel because i NEVER seem to get anywhere, i mean i know what happens is probably for a reason, but sometiems you know, i just WISH i could get somewhere with some of the ppl i begin to fall for.. i dunno maybe its just cuz im sick of always reassuring myself that if it doesnt happen, then its all in god's plan and that i should shrug it off....... but of course i dont want to shrug it off..... especially when i know ive found some1 who is totally different, incredibly fun to be with, and just some1 that i could share something special with, you know what i mean? *sigh* but alas, life does indeed go on..... so im doing what i always do, wait for it to pass, wait for college... whatever..... u know, i also think nothing ever happens because of something about my personality.... most girls are incredibly friendly to me and we often become good friends quite fast, but i think there is something about me that deems me "safe" or something, like i could never be attracted to them... its an interesting phenomenon, and i guess it works out for the best, and most of the time im fine with being their good friend, even when it comes to just being graet friends with a girl i may like at the time... but what gets to me the most is when that certain some1 is down.... when they need some1 to be there... not just a friend.... when they need some1 closer to hold them and help them back up.... and i cant reach out and offer my hand because im not that some1.... and what im left with is doing my best in the position of that "friend" they will always have.... but i know sometimes, sometimes they need more than just a friend to be there for them... bah oh well.... hopefully in college or wherever, ill be able to find waht i need and want, and be able to have that......

well anyways i guess that's all i feel like typing for now cuz its freezing and my fingers are about to fall off.... soo until next time...... bye

ps.... those of you who go to QO....... 93 amazing days left until graduation!......