did you know it only costs two bucks to get only the broth at pho?
its still pretty darn filling too...
----
note to self:sweats.
i didnt mean for it to get this deep. its not crucial, but its big enough for it to be a distraction. if i seem rude/cold/less friendly, its because its the only way i know how to deal with it right now. please dont interpret it as i'm hurting the friendship, when in fact im doing what i can to preserve it. i guess it is true, to a certain extent, you dont really understand how these things tend to work with me. its a rather annoying character flaw really. it starts out small, then it grows and grows, until its just rediculously out of control. just to let you know, this is my means of control. i dont intend to get you involved in this any further, i'm just trying to protect us ya know?
hopefully you understand, chances are you may never know this happened. to be honest, that's ok. just dont get too mad at me ok? sorry.
----
last thursday, i turned 19.
didnt really feel any different.
people tried to take me out via suprise ambush w/ water guns and balloons, but i outsmarted them. har.
however, i escaped only to be ambushed again, only this time they succeeded, then proceeded to tie me up and hit me up with water balloons. yay for the brothers. remember... "it always comes around" -_-;
the sisters tried to turn me into a cannibal by serving me a plate full of newtons. mmm strawberry :p. Regardess it was good stuff. props to them.
i went home that weekend too. only, it seems the older I grow, the more my mother confides in me, I imagine because she thinks im becoming more adult and can be involved in the adult matters now. it made me feel pretty darn guilty. just the things she and my father go through, and the crap they put up with. i didnt know what to say. i knew what to do though. in fact this whole year, ive been trying to do it. so far, not too shabby, but i still have a long way to go.
----
"holding out, i'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe 6 feet, aint so far down"
-Creed
i'm ready to defy gravity.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
the monkey's off my back =)
now for some multimedia. yay.
----
this is probably my most personal track i've made to date.
nothing fancy, just spitt'n what's on the heart.
just tryna win back my life in this spiritual warfare.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/giftedthoughtmusic.htm
Lyrics:
Verse1
Im pist and im mad cuz this is in fact/
A repetition of crap that I did in the past/
Its not a different trap or individual lapse/
I tripped on the track when the chips had been stacked/
I keep slippin too fast to admit that I lack/
The physical knack to finish the task/
When I hit or attack, it keeps kickn me back/
Im sick of this crap, cant I give in at last?/ NO!
its my mission to grab this thing by the throat/
and fight till im old, cuz I have been told/
that im not alone so I always know/
that despite all my foes, this life has some hope/
Ill tighten my hold and try to be bold/
And trust that my faith will lighten my load/
Ill face the dark world cuz I have light in my own/
victory has been found and rightfully so/
Chorus:
“you cant make it”
Just shut the hell up, you aint gonna bring me down.
“so now what you gonna do?”
You can mark my words cuz I’m truly living now!
Verse2:
This doesn’t feel right & it seems like a joke/
cuz I breathe & I choke from down deep in my throat/
Like the rooms filled from floor to ceiling w/ smoke/
I see & believe that I’m needing some hope/
And I’m needing someone to feed me some rope/
Or I’ll never climb something as steep as this slope/
Cuz its these demons that know that I’m weak and it shows/
Only now I understand that its not me in control/
That’s the key to my growth & its time to mature/
to get up & face anything I will endure/
Now I proclaim im not some child for sure/
Finally I can see just how much denial can hurt/
Its an eye opener, shown like a brocure/
It Maybe mild at first, but still lying’s the worst/
Yo, So listen up cuz there’s no denying these words/
Im throw’n it down, lets turn it around…
Chorus
-The Evil Within
----
this is a song by amateur singer Eunnie that ive been feelin.
(1st Verse)
They say
Love?¯s not learned in one day
They say
That love takes time to grow
They say
Love takes time and don?¯t be in a rush
?®Cause you will end up just being crushed
(Chorus)
Love should take its time
You don?¯t have to race with time
It is on your side
True love waits and never fades
Once it?¯s there it?¯s made
Give your heart and dedicate
Love takes time
Break
(2nd Verse)
Young girls don?¯t just give your heart away
You?¯ll just end up in hurt and dismay
Young boys you listen up too
Don?¯t be so quick in loving girls
That won?¯t mean that much to you
Take time in finding the ?®one?¯
?®Cause that ?®one?¯ will stay with you
?®Till time is through (echo)
(Chorus)
(Rap)
Past the midnight, time seem to get by so fast
Thinking about us, what if we don't last?
Everything you said keeps troubling my mind
At first I didn?¯t know love would take so much time
Just tell me when I?¯m stepping on your nerves
?®Cause I?¯m very impatient with waiting forever
The passion might lose its spark
So I?¯m saying tonight we can cruise in dark
And I promise I ain?¯t pulling no more games
Really want us together in an 8 x 12 frame
I?¯ll remain as a best friend till your ready for love
Keep steady in touch, can't get enough of you
Yo it's highly addictive like nicotine
And now I?¯m falling asleep
Picturing our little kissing scene
Chorus 2x
-Love Takes Time, Eunnie ft Kustom Eyez
----
lastly, check out these performances.
http://www.souldout.net/performances.htm
now for some multimedia. yay.
----
this is probably my most personal track i've made to date.
nothing fancy, just spitt'n what's on the heart.
just tryna win back my life in this spiritual warfare.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/giftedthoughtmusic.htm
Lyrics:
Verse1
Im pist and im mad cuz this is in fact/
A repetition of crap that I did in the past/
Its not a different trap or individual lapse/
I tripped on the track when the chips had been stacked/
I keep slippin too fast to admit that I lack/
The physical knack to finish the task/
When I hit or attack, it keeps kickn me back/
Im sick of this crap, cant I give in at last?/ NO!
its my mission to grab this thing by the throat/
and fight till im old, cuz I have been told/
that im not alone so I always know/
that despite all my foes, this life has some hope/
Ill tighten my hold and try to be bold/
And trust that my faith will lighten my load/
Ill face the dark world cuz I have light in my own/
victory has been found and rightfully so/
Chorus:
“you cant make it”
Just shut the hell up, you aint gonna bring me down.
“so now what you gonna do?”
You can mark my words cuz I’m truly living now!
Verse2:
This doesn’t feel right & it seems like a joke/
cuz I breathe & I choke from down deep in my throat/
Like the rooms filled from floor to ceiling w/ smoke/
I see & believe that I’m needing some hope/
And I’m needing someone to feed me some rope/
Or I’ll never climb something as steep as this slope/
Cuz its these demons that know that I’m weak and it shows/
Only now I understand that its not me in control/
That’s the key to my growth & its time to mature/
to get up & face anything I will endure/
Now I proclaim im not some child for sure/
Finally I can see just how much denial can hurt/
Its an eye opener, shown like a brocure/
It Maybe mild at first, but still lying’s the worst/
Yo, So listen up cuz there’s no denying these words/
Im throw’n it down, lets turn it around…
Chorus
-The Evil Within
----
this is a song by amateur singer Eunnie that ive been feelin.
(1st Verse)
They say
Love?¯s not learned in one day
They say
That love takes time to grow
They say
Love takes time and don?¯t be in a rush
?®Cause you will end up just being crushed
(Chorus)
Love should take its time
You don?¯t have to race with time
It is on your side
True love waits and never fades
Once it?¯s there it?¯s made
Give your heart and dedicate
Love takes time
Break
(2nd Verse)
Young girls don?¯t just give your heart away
You?¯ll just end up in hurt and dismay
Young boys you listen up too
Don?¯t be so quick in loving girls
That won?¯t mean that much to you
Take time in finding the ?®one?¯
?®Cause that ?®one?¯ will stay with you
?®Till time is through (echo)
(Chorus)
(Rap)
Past the midnight, time seem to get by so fast
Thinking about us, what if we don't last?
Everything you said keeps troubling my mind
At first I didn?¯t know love would take so much time
Just tell me when I?¯m stepping on your nerves
?®Cause I?¯m very impatient with waiting forever
The passion might lose its spark
So I?¯m saying tonight we can cruise in dark
And I promise I ain?¯t pulling no more games
Really want us together in an 8 x 12 frame
I?¯ll remain as a best friend till your ready for love
Keep steady in touch, can't get enough of you
Yo it's highly addictive like nicotine
And now I?¯m falling asleep
Picturing our little kissing scene
Chorus 2x
-Love Takes Time, Eunnie ft Kustom Eyez
----
lastly, check out these performances.
http://www.souldout.net/performances.htm
Monday, October 20, 2003
im not behaving responsibily. this whole time ive been telling myself not to go there... but its happening.
is it real? i really dont know.
note to self: opening f.c. face, disturbing ra.
need.to.insert.distance.
*sigh* im glad there was intervention today. props to the fellow on the left side.
it used to be so easy. i feel... like im doing certain individuals wrong.
at least this kind of things doesnt hurt anymore. ive outgrown that sillyness. its still a rediculous weakness in general though.
eh.. anyways enough of that.
----
preview:
yo
aint it funny, aint it something, the way that our life unfolds/
we dont see it coming, while we're running we lose sight of those/
that we like and know, yo i suppose that its just the way it goes/
is there any way to know, which way they go, well maybe so/
but ya gotta dig deeper, and try to see what it is that matters/
do you remember all the love, all the tears, and all the laughter/
this life aint no race, so tell why (why?) we tryna go faster/
we better slow it down yo... wake up and look around...
open up your eyes, how many faces do you know?/
everyone’s got their own separate places they should go/
see, in this world of constant change, nothing lasts forever/
its way too easy to try and say it’s a fact that the past was better/
like the passing weather, all of our lives has their seasons/
there’s always people coming in while some of them are leaving/
each of them marks our hearts in their separate way/
but don’t forget to someone else… we also do the same/
is it real? i really dont know.
note to self: opening f.c. face, disturbing ra.
need.to.insert.distance.
*sigh* im glad there was intervention today. props to the fellow on the left side.
it used to be so easy. i feel... like im doing certain individuals wrong.
at least this kind of things doesnt hurt anymore. ive outgrown that sillyness. its still a rediculous weakness in general though.
eh.. anyways enough of that.
----
preview:
yo
aint it funny, aint it something, the way that our life unfolds/
we dont see it coming, while we're running we lose sight of those/
that we like and know, yo i suppose that its just the way it goes/
is there any way to know, which way they go, well maybe so/
but ya gotta dig deeper, and try to see what it is that matters/
do you remember all the love, all the tears, and all the laughter/
this life aint no race, so tell why (why?) we tryna go faster/
we better slow it down yo... wake up and look around...
open up your eyes, how many faces do you know?/
everyone’s got their own separate places they should go/
see, in this world of constant change, nothing lasts forever/
its way too easy to try and say it’s a fact that the past was better/
like the passing weather, all of our lives has their seasons/
there’s always people coming in while some of them are leaving/
each of them marks our hearts in their separate way/
but don’t forget to someone else… we also do the same/
Sunday, October 12, 2003
note to self: watch where you step newt, watch where you step. this is all familiar territory, its exactly where you dont wanna be.
----
last night i was talking with a friend, and i started to put out my thoughts on our ministry body's social interactions and the dynamics and such. i mentioned the concept of spiritual warfare, working through the our personalities to expose and exploit faults that can potentially create a rift in our unity and 'one-ness'. maybe its me being over analytical, but it seems to me that these things are taking place every day. especially since a large group of us live all within the same general vicinity here on campus, obiviously because of circumstance we are around one another more. sure we laugh more, but already this year there has been levels of discomfort and levels of growing intolerance among some of us and i pray this pattern doesnt continue. i love this body, and i thank and love God for brining me to this body. i hope it remains one in Him.
----
my own personal battles remain awfully similar to those that I have had in the past, only... it seems like things are being handled a lot better....
1. studies/lazyiness... i gotta be a good stewart in my studies
2. girls... its important i keep the mentality that each of these young ladies are my SISTERS in christ. how i interact and deal with them should reflect that.
3. turning away from temptation ... in some area's im pretty darn weak.
----
[edit pt 1, 10/16/03]
my goals for this week... (in the more physical sense)
1. rock my calc exam tomorrow
2. rock my comp sci program due wed night
3. get early start on physics (didnt happen)
4. go to a theater and watch a movie on my own (chimee once told me she does this and i've always wanted to try the same since)
----
multimedia updates:
first things first, i made a new track... sorry if my vocal volume levels are a little soft, it was hard to master the track so that everything blended and didnt have a amateurish sound to them.
peep it at my sound click.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/giftedthoughtmusic.htm
its called "may i..."
i just put out how i was feeling. not your ordinary love song though.
---
next... check this guy out...
some flip guy named jay legaspi... very soothing acoustic music.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/jaylegaspimusic.htm
personally, im feeling his two studio tracks, "try, wait" and "10 past 3" the most... its good ish. gotta show love to the underground artists ya know?
[edit pt 2, 10/16/03]
it's 10 past 3 and i'm wondering
If i'm in past over my head and i'm
filled with a lot of anxiety
i apologize in advance for
not giving you any type of warning
i hope that you won't get too mad at me
don't read too much between the lines
'cause I haven't written much this time
just want to see if i'd be fine
without you in my life
and my heart says no..
but my mind says it's possible...
-10 past 3, jay legaspi
---
lastly, check out this link.
just a couple video's of what we do on our downtime ^^
quicktime required.
http://sta.umbc.edu/orgs/agape/tym.html
----
yay for college.
----
last night i was talking with a friend, and i started to put out my thoughts on our ministry body's social interactions and the dynamics and such. i mentioned the concept of spiritual warfare, working through the our personalities to expose and exploit faults that can potentially create a rift in our unity and 'one-ness'. maybe its me being over analytical, but it seems to me that these things are taking place every day. especially since a large group of us live all within the same general vicinity here on campus, obiviously because of circumstance we are around one another more. sure we laugh more, but already this year there has been levels of discomfort and levels of growing intolerance among some of us and i pray this pattern doesnt continue. i love this body, and i thank and love God for brining me to this body. i hope it remains one in Him.
----
my own personal battles remain awfully similar to those that I have had in the past, only... it seems like things are being handled a lot better....
1. studies/lazyiness... i gotta be a good stewart in my studies
2. girls... its important i keep the mentality that each of these young ladies are my SISTERS in christ. how i interact and deal with them should reflect that.
3. turning away from temptation ... in some area's im pretty darn weak.
----
[edit pt 1, 10/16/03]
my goals for this week... (in the more physical sense)
3. get early start on physics (didnt happen)
----
multimedia updates:
first things first, i made a new track... sorry if my vocal volume levels are a little soft, it was hard to master the track so that everything blended and didnt have a amateurish sound to them.
peep it at my sound click.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/giftedthoughtmusic.htm
its called "may i..."
i just put out how i was feeling. not your ordinary love song though.
---
next... check this guy out...
some flip guy named jay legaspi... very soothing acoustic music.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/jaylegaspimusic.htm
personally, im feeling his two studio tracks, "try, wait" and "10 past 3" the most... its good ish. gotta show love to the underground artists ya know?
[edit pt 2, 10/16/03]
it's 10 past 3 and i'm wondering
If i'm in past over my head and i'm
filled with a lot of anxiety
i apologize in advance for
not giving you any type of warning
i hope that you won't get too mad at me
don't read too much between the lines
'cause I haven't written much this time
just want to see if i'd be fine
without you in my life
and my heart says no..
but my mind says it's possible...
-10 past 3, jay legaspi
---
lastly, check out this link.
just a couple video's of what we do on our downtime ^^
quicktime required.
http://sta.umbc.edu/orgs/agape/tym.html
----
yay for college.