i keep tryna meet up with an old friend, but things keep falling through.
i hope i dont seem too obsessive heh. i just miss talking to her.
it's been a while... and we (or at least I) always have fun doing the most mundane things.
i kind of just want to catch up, see where life has taken her the past 6 months, so on and so forth.
well, screw it... it'll have to wait till the break.

i feel restless. maybe its cuz the past few years before college i've always had close female companionship... and right now i really kind of miss that. especially some of my close friends from back in the day. right now its a little harder for me to have that same kind of relationship, mainly because the people i hang out are from my ministry. and my ministry is really protective of preserving pure friendships. that's fine, because i can understand why, since I know my heart and mind have strayed far too many times in the past. still though... there is a completely different dynamic between a same sex friendship, and a boy-girl friendship. i dont know why, but i really didnt care as much this year. who would have thought it would have taken me till my second year to start really missing the ways and faces of old.

----
you know whats an important lesson i learned recently?
i need to have more trust in God. All this time i've been identifying some of my faults, and 'lifting it up to Him'... only to not even try and rely on Him at all and try to tackle things on my own means and solutions. it's why i've been getting so frustrated... over my studies, over girls, over bad habits. this entire time, my heart did not believe my prayers... and empty words are nothing but hollow gestures. they do no one any good. I really need to make my faith more REAL. screw this head knowledge... it just makes me sound like i know what im doing... but still, nothing is truly accomplished.
----

turkey bowl 2003:
hah. steve (kim), you'd be happy to know that both your girls and guys teams whooped my church's teams.
but OFM boys and girls... you guys are heros in my eyes! ENNNN-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

it was fun seeing people from all around though.
ranging from people i see just about everyday to people i havent seen in literally over a year.
home is good for the soul.
but it was kind of a rude awakening to realize that there's issues to deal with no matter where we go. I came home with the attitude that finally... no worries.
too bad there are, and always will be...
I guess that's why faith needs to be a 24-7 type of thing anyways. God's always on duty.
----

had some good ol jajungmyun in good ol annendale the other night. spend some quality time with ji-fun, carol and sei... people who i havent really hung out with in a long time. it seemed too short, but as always, it was very chill, and... very comfortable.

i love how carol can be so open and completely goofy regardless of who she's with. whether she's just met someone or has known them for years. yay for ms yu.

and camera's are always fun. im kind of starting to want one now. i've never been a picture kind of guy though.
----

eh. end of entry.

people i havent seen in a while and miss:

My Richmond Girls...
Diana, Hanna, Lily
(sue and eunice, you're included as well, just dont have any pictures of you too)




My Kids + extended fam... (who arent really kids anymore)
Katie, Nancy, Grace, Trisha, Treena, Gina.. the ol' lunch table crew.




My Girls from back home... *sniff they are grown up too*
Soyoung, Irene




and the good ol NK days ya know?

New Track:

People Come and Go

featuring three hot MC's
Gifted Thought, Fundamentalz, and Decipher

what you think? hot or not?

Lo-Fi

im in a computer lab right now killing time before class...

and you know what? i feel good.
for once i feel 100% good.

its been somewhat of a rough week, coming back from a retreat and having to deal with "life" again, but right now I see things a lot clearer now.

there are still some issues i need to work out, but in perspective i realize how small and insignificant these matters are when compared to what God's calling me to do instead ya know? they just seem so trivial now... still existant, but trivial.

yay for living in victory.

oh yea, a friend gave me an actual journal to write in, so i'm not sure how that will affect this blog. maybe ill still write here just as much, maybe not. doesnt really matter though, since i do this mainly for me in the first place.

im trying to think of what to do this weekend...
there are some plans in the works for a trip to annendale... if i do that i should prob get in contact with ms yu and meet up with her, but who knows...

happy birthday pete and nate.
two of the older bro's turned into old men this past week, maybe we'll do something for them this weekend...

other tentative plans include catching the roy jones fight with the rest of the guys...
or perhaps i'll just make a stop at OFM's coffeehouse.

*shrugs*

i'm also thinking about giving steve jundo a call and see if he's free tonite.

----
lastly...
i seem to be alone on this one...
but was anyone else dissapointed by Matrix:Revolutions?

sure i enjoyed it to an extent, but I feel let down.
Two many aspects, and concepts were introduced and explored in the first and second film only to remain somewhat untouched and neglected in the last one.
Dont get me wrong, it had some amazing action scenes.... but I was looking for a deeper side to it all to complement the rest of the movie, only to be given a cliche'd message on 'having faith'.

Keunu's acting turned me off more than anything else in this movie...
Before, when he just had to be all hard, he did a respectable job. But trying to get him to act out emotional scenes just seems foolish. Agent Smith however, I give my props to. That man did a very convincing job of his role.

Oh yes, and props to the new actress who played the oracle and the script writers for covering up the fact that the old oracle died in the middle of shooting.

Oh well. It was at least a good time out with the boys.
Sisters, hopefully you didnt read this before you all go see it tonight. Go in with an open mind and make your own conclusions, because most people enjoyed it a lot more than I did anyways.
Eh, who am I kidding haha. The only person that reads this blog is me.^^

have you ever felt like something was weighing you down, and it was annoying the crap out of you?

ive been feeling like that lately. most people really enjoy and get all happy when they go through what i go through right now, but no, instead its kind of pissing me off, cuz i know how its negatively affecting me...

it brought me to the point where i started banging my head up against the elevator when i was alone....

s'ok though, ive proclaimed it to Him, that its not gonna get the best of me.

ill up date more later...