i keep tryna meet up with an old friend, but things keep falling through.
i hope i dont seem too obsessive heh. i just miss talking to her.
it's been a while... and we (or at least I) always have fun doing the most mundane things.
i kind of just want to catch up, see where life has taken her the past 6 months, so on and so forth.
well, screw it... it'll have to wait till the break.
i feel restless. maybe its cuz the past few years before college i've always had close female companionship... and right now i really kind of miss that. especially some of my close friends from back in the day. right now its a little harder for me to have that same kind of relationship, mainly because the people i hang out are from my ministry. and my ministry is really protective of preserving pure friendships. that's fine, because i can understand why, since I know my heart and mind have strayed far too many times in the past. still though... there is a completely different dynamic between a same sex friendship, and a boy-girl friendship. i dont know why, but i really didnt care as much this year. who would have thought it would have taken me till my second year to start really missing the ways and faces of old.
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you know whats an important lesson i learned recently?
i need to have more trust in God. All this time i've been identifying some of my faults, and 'lifting it up to Him'... only to not even try and rely on Him at all and try to tackle things on my own means and solutions. it's why i've been getting so frustrated... over my studies, over girls, over bad habits. this entire time, my heart did not believe my prayers... and empty words are nothing but hollow gestures. they do no one any good. I really need to make my faith more REAL. screw this head knowledge... it just makes me sound like i know what im doing... but still, nothing is truly accomplished.
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turkey bowl 2003:
hah. steve (kim), you'd be happy to know that both your girls and guys teams whooped my church's teams.
but OFM boys and girls... you guys are heros in my eyes! ENNNN-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
it was fun seeing people from all around though.
ranging from people i see just about everyday to people i havent seen in literally over a year.
home is good for the soul.
but it was kind of a rude awakening to realize that there's issues to deal with no matter where we go. I came home with the attitude that finally... no worries.
too bad there are, and always will be...
I guess that's why faith needs to be a 24-7 type of thing anyways. God's always on duty.
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had some good ol jajungmyun in good ol annendale the other night. spend some quality time with ji-fun, carol and sei... people who i havent really hung out with in a long time. it seemed too short, but as always, it was very chill, and... very comfortable.
i love how carol can be so open and completely goofy regardless of who she's with. whether she's just met someone or has known them for years. yay for ms yu.
and camera's are always fun. im kind of starting to want one now. i've never been a picture kind of guy though.
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eh. end of entry.