Yo, all I need is one mic, one beat, one stage
One nigga front, my face on the front page
Only if I had one gun, one girl and one crib
One God to show me how to do things his son did
- excerpt from One Mic by Nas

that's prob the only song i really like off his stillmatic album...
there should be more MC's who are socially concious... as opposed to all this commercialized Fabulous/Ludicrous/Jay-Z/Nelly crap....
heh, in case u cant tell im starting to get back into hip hop again... in fact in college i think im gonna start a hip hop ministry or something... i hope there are other christian lyricsts at UMBC...

ne how...
*phew* last couple weeks have been crazy... lots of good and bad things happening....

"good or bad news today, who's to say?/
for every decision we choose to make/
we all got our consequences and dues to pay/
too much to lose at stake?/
better hold on and get used to fate/

its today's sorrow, but tomorrow's blessing/
so lets try to get through our own testings/

if evil wants me to fall, ill let her wait/
i wont lose hope...
tomorrow, perhaps will be a better day/"

- that just came off the top of my head as i was writing today's post... basically sums up how things are going, i realize things arent too hot in a lot of areas in my life as well as others, but ill take things as they come, what may be bad may be blessings in disguise.... what has me lost in confusion, i will remember god's got it all worked out...

"people come and go/
memories fade, even if u wont let go/
but their influence is unequaled/
for they always remain, one in soul/"

im just spittn out things randomly here..... sometimes it hurts to say goodbye... but always remember, in some way, shape, or form, they changed your life.... and that is worth everything.....

i sent in my UMBC stuff... here i come...
graduation soon.... just those darn AP's first.... but afterwards i am done....

i dunno.... i apologize for the lack of entries lately, as i said, its been crazy.... and quite frankly i dont really feel like doing that whole memoirs thing...... so as of right now its discontinued... whenever i have some significant memory to share, ill share, if not, i wont try to remember things that dont really apply to nething...

song of the moment:
lena park - PS I love you

speaking of which....
if u are reading this, and u can sing like lena park, or have that type of sweet voice, and happen to be considering going to UMBC please do come and keep me company freshman yr.... cuz i can gaurentee ill fall in love with your voice^^ ill be your biggest fan.....

ok that was random....
bye

In this game the lesson's in your eyes to see
Though things change, the future's still inside of me
We must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark
So you will always be in my heart, with unconditional love

ALL THE ABOVE PICS ARE COURTESY OF IRENE

which is why she's in so many of them haha.....

songs for the moment:

j - GuhDeh GgaJi

boa - no. 1

m-flo - love or truth (L.O.T.)

Picture time!

my fob pose at Balt, inner harbor... this will be 15 min away from where i go to school next year


soy, me, and irene tryna look sad


me, soy, irene


me and irene


irene


irene, soyoung


irene, me




pics from noraebang (brisca and irene)


me, brisca, irene


jeremy, irene


a bunch of people b4 the avalon concert


me and lily at the avalon concert


dcho, irene



pics of me being insane

k that's my update.....

im sorry guys, im too lazy to think back today.... maybe tomorrow ill post a memoir... as for right now it'll just be current news

this week i went to the zoo with alisha and vicky... that was fun.... funny too haha, all we did was make fun of one another, but im really thankful they came to keep me company, that was very sweet of them

saturday i couldnt even go to church, i had to do a project with a group and we worked on it for like 4 hours... we seriously underestimated the time we needed...
anyhow hanging out with my school friends and doing the project... made me realize why im closer to my church friends then i am to my school friends...
for the most part i remained silent while some of them shared their stories of being drunk, high, crazy things they've done on dates, and what not... not to say they are bad people... but i just cant relate to them as they talk about things that they do regularly that i never do.. anyhow afterwards i got to hang out with some of the guys and we played perfect dark and what not... that was fun, i hadnt actualy chilled with them outside of school before... they have always been just in school friends.... and yea the girls... they all went off to hang out with some guy they all sweated

today was just softball, church, the usual sunday experience...

u know. im gonna go off on a tangent right now..... and talk about my philsophy behind dating...

i dont know how to flirt.... i dont know how to pick up a girl... i dont know how to hit on a girl....
and i often joke about it and say i should learn, but in reality i dont think i really want to
the way i see it... i dunno i just dont like the concept of dating b4 a relationship.... the whole going somewhere, and meeting some1 for the first time, finding them attractive and then trying to get them to meet up with you another time and then after a few dates trying to base a relationship on the foundation of a FEW DATES... i dunno it seems pointless to me..... maybe im too idealistically but i believe the best relationships shall spring from a strong friendship.... so many of my friends hook up with people, and it doesnt work out and they never talk to that person again... id rather not lost a potential friend so early on just cuz i found them to be attractive and a relationship didnt work out.... for me, to say im "dating" some1 would mean im already in a relationship with them.... of course its always fun to get to know some1 new and exciting.. but i dont think you can ever learn everything about a person, therefore what can one really learn on a couple dates? the kind of relationship i want is, one where it happens because it was well thought out and prayed for heavily.... i mean sure, there are lots of girls i find to be very attractive... but i wouldnt even dare act on it until i got to be friends with them first... maybe this will change later, but i dont think id start dating some1 unless i thought i really knew who they were... of course lets say in college i meet some girl, and we instantly hit it off... we become very close very fast...... then so be it..... because its not that i dont believe in fate, because i do... and its fine because i didnt TRY to pick up this girl, nor vice versa... hmm i guess to summarize this entire passage of me rambling... when dealing with something as love/relatinoships/friendships.... i dont believe in anything but natural progression.... basically i dont believe in trying to randomly shoot fish in a barrel...... to try and make things happen... it just seems so... so... futile.... not to say it wont work... but perharps the romanticist/idealist side of me has gotten the best of me, but i think the only way is the natural way... untouched and untainted by our puny attempts at trying to find love in this world

k im done for tonite....
pics coming soon (courtesy of irene)

dang it! shot down again!...... bah this cycle is getting old....

its ok...
"i get knocked down, but i get up again, you aint never gonna keep me down"

trying to catch myself before i fall too hard/
lookn for a new start, cuz they are all too far/
when's the next time ill feel the call of a new heart/

sorry, ive just been quite, frustrated..... i am every girl's safety guy, to them im incapable of falling for them. fair enough, we develop strong friendships when we dont have to deal with all that "i wonder if he likes me" crap but same time if i do fall for them its ultimately a wasted set of emotions... i suppose there is always hope in college... maybe... baltimore, u better have something ready for me haha... everytime i say im gonna give up girls, i cant... cuz everytime something, or should i say someONE happens....

-memoirs-
WooJung
this guy came the summer right before 9th grade, and he was one of those "cant live with him, cant live without him" type of people. I miss him a lot now cuz he was a really funny and crazy guy, but i mean he was quite obnoxious at times in person. He did so many funny things usually by accident or by not trying to be funny. That summer he came to live with Jeremy, cuz Jeremy's mom was doing a favor for a friend by taking him in to study here in the US. The first time i met him it was that summer retreat right before 9th grade... we were bunk mates that yr.... i forgot the location... im guessing it was st mary's... it was so funny because one night a bunch of us stayed up late and some1 brought a tape player into the room.... and some of the older kids were like... lets dance!... so people were fooling around and what not.. but then no1 wanted to go into the middle of the room and dance.... so some1 was like.. hey... woojung why dont you go up? and im guessing since he was new and wanted to fit in and what not... he obliged... so next thing we knew....... he started dancing like crazy... haha it was so funny. He imitated HOT's dance moves from we are the future and everything. Although he wasnt GREAT at it, it was HIGHLY unexpected and entertaining to say the least. Other funny memories of him include: The time he tried to pick up a girl by asking for her email. He was trying to be all slick about it and everything but it was so obvious he was interested in her. Another time we were at this church picnic and there was this dock thing by the lake. Actually there were two. seperated by maybe 10 feet of water. Anyhow boys being boys, we were daring one another to jump from one dock to another, and of course jiheon with his unhuman catlike athletic ablility was like... "ok" and cleared it no sweat. This set the bar for anyone else to try to jump it. And once again Woojung rose to the occasion. So there woojung went... running down the dock, huffing, puffing, running as hard as he possibly could, building up momentum, and there he went, launched into the air. We were all amazed, it looked as tho he were going to actually clear it. And clear it he did. Only, he had a slight problem in stopping... and kept running after he landed on the other side.... in fact he ran all the way up to the other side, and stopped right at the edge. From there he tried to stop and keep his balance, waving his arms frantically, on his tip toes trying not to fall in. But.... to no avail, he did a front flip and landed in the water. And my oh my what a funny occasion that was. Of course he got his props for clearing the water, but he also lost a lil bit of his pride for failing to stop. Another time he tried to mimic Jiheon by hopping over a fence post. Once again, jiheon has unheard of catlike ablility and he soared over it. When woojung gave it a try, he landed on the fence and broke it. Haha, you have to love him for his effort though. Whenever me and woojung had conversations, it was usually about music, infact he lost a couple of my cd's after he borrowed them. Hehe Oh well no big deal. The problem with WJ in the end, was that he tried to make up stories and what not to get attention. Also, he didnt know how to act properly sometimes. But its all good, he was a fun guy to have around, and he left after a couple years, to go to boarding school. He really added some... excitement to church life haha as well as some aggravation but nethertheless i wish the best for him. We have not spoke to one another in some time, but i pray that god blesses him.

-no memoir entry today-

News
not much is going on.... yesterday was movie night at church, the one is a pretty dopey movie haha... eh... stupid jet li should not talk
earlier that day i hung out with one of my nuna's jean, she took me to the GMC bball tourny... god its gotten so big, they have 8 locations running simultaneously and there are even teams from NY and stuff... either way i saw NCFC crush deleware.. then jean took me out to lunch, what a great nuna eh? but i also had to go through watching her get her haircut in some ahjima's blackmarket haircutting operation in her basement hahaha... it was ok tho... i just looked at the cute korean models on those colossal dictionary-sized things koreans call fashion magazines, then i came home, cleaned the house a lil, went back to GMC and saw the most intense game between GMC and NCFC where NCFC came away with the win by ONE POINT in the last 5 seconds.... wow... that was fun... then i went to church and watched a movie as i said above...

the day before..Friday. I had discipleship but then we went out to MT Zion Prebysterian Church for their first coffeehouse/fundraiser. Their band equipment was stolen and they had replaced much of it but they needed 500 dollars for a keyboard. Now this is a fairly small church so getting 500 was no easy task, but by the grace of god a pretty good number of people came and they raied almost 600. Their acts were pretty funny sometimes. As well as impressive. Of all the random things one could do at a coffeehouse these two guys performed drunken tiger and jinusean... haha anyhow kyunghwa nuna blew me away with her singing. man she was really awesome. and that was the evening.

sunday i just had church and softball practice.....

[side comment] this will prob make no sense, but i guess im writing this for my own future reference...
-every one has their own moment, on that day she had hers-

k im out tata!

The Cheating Begins:

9th grade is when I probably got my start in my big-time cheating schemes. It became my sole dependency in some classes and it helped me make the grade in most cases. However I would later realize how much it killed me because I lacked the background knowledge that my future classes would build upon. I believe in started in geometry. I had it 1st period with Mr. Thompson. That man is most likely one of the best teachers at Quince Orchard. As long as I listened, even half-heartedly, I picked up the material. ONTOP OF THAT, if I ever forgot something, I luckily sat behind one of the top students in my entire Freshman class. Her name is Joanna. She also happened to be one of the prettier girls in my grade, but I never really got to know her well enough to feel attracted to her. Eh, that¡¯s besides the point. At least to my knowledge, she had no idea I was cheating off of her on tests and what not. So, basically I would just copy them all down while she did her work. Second semester I sat right by this other smart kid, Joel Wilcher. Now, everyone made a little fun of this guy, because he wasn¡¯t afraid to stick out. Of course I feel rather bad for joking on him behind his back now, but it¡¯s all in the past and I havn¡¯t been able to talk to him recently. I admire him now for not being afraid to truly be himself. Anyhow calculator games was a big thing at the time. We¡¯d all be punching away at our TI¡¯s playing tetris and what not. Hehe and I got joel HOOKED on my calculator tetris. In fact, he¡¯d let me copy most of his work if I just let him use my calc for the period. The things we do as freshman hehe. Well these were the beginnings of what would become a lucrative cheating habit in high school. Eventually it would catch up to me later that year though. I was caught cheating on a Spanish test that I was making up on the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. One of the dumber things I¡¯ve done for sure. Didn¡¯t matter, regardless my grade for that class still suffered.

Grace Jundo:

Church wise, 9th grade marked a time for a new Jundosanim. The one prior to this new one was Sunny Jundosanim. She was a great woman, with remarkable ambition. Unfortunately, she tried to delegate all the responsibilities to only herself and ended up carrying the burdens that should have been shared among the entire youth group. At this point our youth congregation had started to experience a slow, but steady increase in size. The new Jundo to replace Sunny would be a lady all the way from Oregon who decided to attend seminary at Wesley in DC. Her name was Grace. The thing about Grace was, from the beginning, it was some what apparent that she wasn¡¯t quite¡¦ I cant say cut out, rather, wasn¡¯t really prepared to be a Jundo just yet. Luckily, she made quite a few friends from Wesley, who would help her out whenever she needed. Such as driving the big church vans or in helping lead some of our activities. Grace was prone to give the short and sweet type of testimonies. Although, I didn¡¯t really grow spiritually all too much during this time period, and at this point I was probably going to church more for the fellowship aspect then the worshiping god aspect, I¡¯m still thankful we had Grace there. Oddly enough, the retreats we had with grace were some of the best or at least most memorable. We went to some NICE accommodations. I¡¯ll talk about the retreats in another entry but the places were very very sweet. Grace did have some good ideas for the youth as well. She set up a summer school program, which I never attended, but I think that was a very nice thing to do. She also tried to set up sandwich drives and what not for the homeless. She definitely seemed to have her heart in the right place. Well, as I said earlier, she wasn¡¯t really prepared just yet, and unfortunately later on in the year she would leave rather unexpectedly, leaving our youth without a jundo for about a half year.

Girls:

Well, in case you havnt noticed so far, there has been little to zero mention about females in my life. I mean in terms of crushes and what not that is. This is because at this point and time. I could have cared less. Sometimes I miss those days. Although feeling for someone or someones makes life interesting, it also can put you through a lot of bull. Well anyhow, enough about that. I didn¡¯t really sweat any girl at this point and time. That¡¯s that.

Today¡¯s update:
Brisca, Irene, and I visited annendale VA¡¦ aka korea town¡¦ had some good Korean food.. jajangmyun for 4 bucks¡¦ some fun karaoke, and just chilling¡¦
That¡¯s it for the news¡¦

Now the first memoir entry

9th grade in a nutshell:

I came in riding high from 8th grade. Eighth grade was a breeze and a blast for me, so although I was walking into the school as a mere freshman I wasn¡¯t scared at all. Also, luckily for me, my school wasn¡¯t huge on class spirit or nething, so there was no real bashing on the freshman¡¦ or hazing or nething like that. We were just integrated into the student body almost seamlessly. The other thing was that, there were no other feeder middle schools into my school, so I didn¡¯t really have to get to know all these new people or go through the hassle of finding friends. However my social network still changed.

My closest friends that year were probably David Hoang, this viet/Chinese kid, and Omar Rocha¡¦ haha big omar¡¦ he was this huge Spanish kid, but he was a great guy. I remember once he wanted to talk about discipleship with me, he was a hardcore Christian, but unfortunately I wasn¡¯t at that stage where I felt ready to talk so I kinda brushed it aside. I remember surviving that yr mostly offa david. Man I was such a leech but this guy was so friggn generous. He always offered to pay for lunch and never asked to be payed back. He¡¯s still like this to this day, although we aren¡¯t nearly as close as we were before.

At this time I also had a different look to me then I do now. By this time I was already the chubby short asian kid you all know me to be today, only I had just gotten contacts the yr before and at this point I still had my retarded, longer banged, tryna be some sort of uber-asian, type of haircut. You know, the type split right down the middle and the bangs came down by my mouth cuz it was the cool asian/H.O.T. generation thing to do. What a fool I was for doing that heh. I also ahd braces for most of the yr until later on when I got em off towards the end of freshman yr.

I remember the thing about my school was the sheer number of asian people. My school is no Wooton HS, (which is almost 30% asian I believe), but it sure does have a lot. Infact, I think it has the second highest rate in the county. All the ¡°cool¡± Asians sat in the cafeteria, and I remember wanting to be like them. Baggy pants and all. Also I remember some of the guys just looking so friggn big and hardcore. I never really got to know any of them though. I guess I just wasn¡¯t meant to be friends with most of them in the first place. I just remember my friend Han. He was a pretty big guy, and he tried to get me to go to Homecoming with some FOB girl that I hadn¡¯t even met b4. He was a pretty cool guy, just horrible in returning stuff to you if you lent it to him. He moved away after that yr with like three of my cd¡¯s and I believe 20 bucks I lent him. Anyhow he introduced me to some of the older asian kids at my school. The only one I can remember clearly is this girl Ruth. She was really nice to me and I guess if I had gotten to have known her better I would have probably called her nuna and stuff. She was also pretty cute. But she graduated that year and I never saw her again. Actually I think I see her around Montgomery College sometimes, but im not sure its her. So I guess its more accurate to say I never talked to her again after that year.

I have more stories¡¦ I¡¯ll continue freshman yr over the next several entires, or until I run out of stories.

Starting soon¡¦ I am going to publish something like a set of memoirs¡¦ im going to name the important parts of my life since I entered high school and beyond¡¦ I am going to try to be as honest and open as possible, while still being considerate of certain situations that may be sensitive. There may be no coherent flow to any particular sequence of events, nor are things likely to be in chronological order¡¦ often I may tangent off into other topics, but in the end it will all tie back together¡¦ at least hopefully. Just a disclaimer¡¦ not all blog entries from this point will be memoir entries. I will also continue to give updates on my life as I have been, thus the format has changed little. As I find pictures, I will try to incorporate them to help illustrate that particular timeline which is being discussed at that moment. The purpose of these entries are not to entertain you readers, although I do hope that at least some will, rather the main purpose is to give me an opportunity just to reminisce and try to remember what the high school experience really was for me.

With all that out of the way I am really quickly going to give a rundown of how things are going.

Jiheon and Lily, I am happy for you two, you are both really blessed. Congrats on the prom arrangements.
I¡¯ve been going out quite frequently, but hey, its spring break, so yea, im taking advantage of my second semester senior status.
College wise I have been accepted into CP, which is the last school I had to hear from. Well, I was sorta accepted.. I¡¯ve been put on waiting list for the fall but have been offered admission for the spring. I am content with that, given the incredibly difficult acceptance standards of this yr¡¯s admissions pool. However, I will most likely be attending UMBC in the fall, given my scholarship and the draw of Baltimore that I feel, it just seems to be the most sensible choice for me.

So keep a heads up for the future entries.