bringing it ol school.

"I want to know you more."
- In The Secret, Sonic Flood
----

when I talk about the future, I still catch myself saying 'when I grow up...'
I realized that, Im still always dreaming about the future, rather than living it in the present.

I found myself asking this today...
Do I need to improve in order to get to the next level, or do I need to get to the next level to improve?
I so deeply want to 'step it up', but I find myself stumbling so often. Through it all though, I'm so encouraged by everyone in the body, because they offer such real love.

If I want God to take me seriously, then I have to take Him seriously.
Wow. Ive messed up on that one huh? Im not gonna shrug it off this time though.
Monday morning is gonna be lived for Him. Then Tuesday. Then Wednesday. and so on...

I think the biggest thing I have been blessed with in my life, is Faith. Yes, at times I question, I 'wrestle' in a sense, and I contemplate, but I am always reaffirmed not with increasing doubt, but rather increasing conviction and trust in Him. I dont consider it to be blind, or brainwashed, or programmed, but rather obedient. I like to think that, I understand (to a degree) what it is all about. I dont mean to be cocky, and I want to keep a humble attitude, because I am far from obedient in so many aspects, but there is no other 'truth' out there that just makes so much sense.

----

face paint from Quadmania.


some of us freshman.

picnic time fun. yay.







here's the complete set.

a continuation of last entry.

---
Four Seasons Later

Lo-Fi
Hi-Fi
download

beat from: www.mp3.com/soleternity

sometimes i wish i knew a way to communicate with you/
but i can only imagine, what you would say or do/
its hard to face the truth but im doing it now/
im looking at the sky speaking to you in the clouds/
and truly no doubt, i know you would be proud/
cuz ya familys being strong and still moving about/
but regardless of this, a big part of you lives/
in ya lil girl's soul, in the heart of ya miss/

i want you to know you're missed
i want you to know you're loved
we wont forget you.

it happened so quick, being attacked on ya shift/
if only we knew it'd be the last day you live/
people kept talkn and saying, how tragic it is/
to have another life taken by a gat and a clip/
but they didnt know about all the people you've touched/
or how your love could have equaled so much/
but if you could say one thing i know what it'd be/
to your son, daughter and husband in grief/
its that love doesnt need, to be said or be heard/
and that love doesnt need to be confessed with the words/
it can be felt by the heart and the soul/
which are the parts that you hold as part of your own/
and the older they grow, their hearts hardly alone/
cuz you're still here as their gaurdian of hope/
and as far as we know, this is far from the end/
cuz you can all be together in heaven again/

i want you to know you're missed
i want you to know you're loved
we wont forget you.

i will go on...
with you always in my heart

although you're gone...
you're still always in my heart


i will go on...
with you always in my heart
----
RIP.

its about that time. be strong.
a dedication.

---

"I can only imagine what it will be like
when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see
when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes
and I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine, when all I will do
is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine! Yeah!
I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine, when all I do is forever
forever worship You
I can only imagine."

- I Can Only Imagine, Mercy Me
---
Behind the Music: I Can Only Imagine

When my father died of cancer in 1991, he left me with the assurance that he was headed to a better place. He used to always tell me that I was getting the raw end of the deal because I had to stick around here. For several years following his death, I would find myself writing the phrase, I can only imagine, on anything I could find. That simple phrase would give me a peace and a hope thinking about what my dad was finally experiencing.

Years later, in 1999, MercyMe was writing songs for an independent project. I remember coming home from a show and being wide awake on our bus at 2 o'clock in the morning. I was trying to write lyrics in an old notebook of mine, when all of a sudden, I stumbled across that phrase. About ten minutes later, the song was written. Some people say it's amazing that it was written in ten minutes, when really it had been on my heart for almost ten years.

As a worship leader I am constantly wondering if the most precious times of worship here on earth, are even close to what we will experience in the Kingdom of God. I personally believe we are merely scraping the heavens here. I grew up in church and was taught to worship a certain way, but even still I wonder how I might react when the day comes and I physically lay eyes on Jesus. I bet there will be a lot of Southern Baptists that can't sit still, and a lot of Charismatics that are speechless.

- taken from MercyMe.org
---

this will stay, until that day.

sometimes i get so dissapointed in myself.
its so hard to remain pure sometimes. why is it the world is almost built to be anti-pure?
i know no one said it was gonna be easy, but damn i didnt know it would be this hard at times.

i gotta do what i gotta do to be a man of God. A man whom one day, my future wife will know that she can count on me to be someone whose heart is pure. brothers, sexual sin is a little pussy. it hits you when you are weakest, and tempts you when you are most vulnerable. fight it. even if you lose a few battles, win the war.

hah, what a world we live in. and i dont even face the worst of it. its still somewhat avoidable, just easily accessable. on the other hand, places like amsterdam in europe... unless your blind and deaf, you cant escape.

So keep my heart pure and my ways true
As I follow you
Keep me humble, I’ll stay mindful
Of your mercies, Lord
- Day After Day, Tim Hughes

let this be the brothers anthem. day after day we will seek to be His men. the only way we can succeed is through Grace and accountability.
Do You Have What It Takes?

sometimes i doubt myself, but i always realize that my failures are not a result of my lack of ability, simply a lack of effort.

Jerry.
Nate.
Micah.
Steve Kim.
Peter Chow.
Pete.
Albert.
Thomas.
Kory Campbell.
Rob Chase.
Jeff.
Ramiro.
Me.

we're in this together. we're taking over UMBC.

History Makers Making History: Spring Retreat 2003


im wild'n out.... for no apparant reason on the way to the retreat


some of the sisters


skit madness... dont even ask


hedgi showing off the funny id's we got


a bunch of the freshman sisters on the last night


summer being summer


chowing down... once again im making a face for no reason


all the peeps from my campus in the random snow we had that day