the lord wants me to be patient... so im doing the best i can.

if the snow calms down, i want to be out there....
but i cant fully decide whether i wanna be there by myself or not.
actually... i dont wanna just be out in the snow, i want to go ice skating, but definately not alone for that one...

or in the rain... on a summer night.. just be in the rain... either in solitude and silence, or in an engaging conversation. funny how i want both huh? it just seems... relaxing. well... i take that back, more like an oddly comforting thought. shouldnt be tryna look there for comfort though.

when i look into the future... there are times when i directly see a face, a recognizable, warm face. but at other times, it seems more blurry, like i cant fully make it out. i doubt id be too dissapointed if the faces dont match when i get there, but for now, im kind of hoping for what's familiar.

this week is gonna be different, im gonna do what i can to take it one step at a time. each time i stumble i get more and more discouraged... sometimes to the point where im just apathetic. its hard to succeed in areas where you've forgotten what succeeding feels like.

i feel really uncomfortable whenever i have this dream. well its not the same dream, just variances one a certain subject. it kind of bugs me how even though its been quite a while, there are some things that i cant fully leave behind, its been engraved into my memories. they arent necessarily bad memories, but they are really getting in the way sometimes. it was my fault though, for indulging in things that i didnt understand.

hmm, i dont mean to dwell on drama, but i guess it was kind of unavoidable being snowed in while avoiding the clawing grasp of my school work. oh well, off to better things... maybe a lil bit of physics, and perhaps some praise.