i realized last night, that i need God in my life. Its gotten to that point, where I realize I cant be happy unless i have him. Due to circumstances as well as my own laziness, ive really been neglecting the spiritual side of my life. I just havent been taking any intiatives in meeting with Him. I didnt realize it, but its affected my temperment, my moods, and my overall mentality. Ive just had a general sense of dissatisfaction, but I didnt know why. I feel so stupid for not realizing the truth. It hurt to realize that I could be so blind. I need to engage deeper with God, because its the only way things rae going to change.

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I don’t understand Your ways
Oh, but I will give You my songs
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pains
And with it You are pulling me closer
Pulling me into Your ways

Now ‘round every corners, and up every mountains
I am not looking for crowns or the water from fountains
I am desperately seeking and frantic believing
That the sight of Your face is all that I’m needing,
And I will say to You

It’s gonna be worth it. It’s gonna be worth it.
It’s gonna be worth it all. I believe.

You're gonna be worth it. You're gonna be worth it.
You're gonna be worth it all.
- Worth it All, Rita Springer

The spirit was moving last night, and this song touched me. When i dont feel like it anymore, I gotta remember that in the end, its gonna be worth it.