17 days... only a quarter of my goal.
i need to get specific. no loopholes.
absolutely nothing. zero tolerance. that's the new motive.
and i need a continual refocus and recharging from the only Source that matters.
sorry. its so hard sometimes.
4.7.4.

i think all i really needed was a little bit of perspective...
and maybe a moment where i just shut up and stopped whining and listened...

this may be a long hard rough semester that i have to go through... but Lord willing, i will.

this time i made up my mind
this time im back on my grind
i know theres things in my life that imma let go starting tonite
I cant live my, I cant live my life this way.
-this way, dilated peoples ft kanye west

little by little bit everyday... right?

gotta suck it up, build it up, its time to be a man.
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any how, it looks as if my blog commenting system is down for now... a shame really.. hopefully it'll reopen.
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you know...
there's always something to learn in this life... there's always room to grow... always something to improve upon... always situations to respond to, problems to remedy...

i suppose a big issue of the moment is friendship.
true friends. they are hard to come by. where its not about convenience, its not about 'you scratch my back, ill scratch yours', its not completely about common interests, but ultimately it all ties back to Him.

the past couple months/weeks/day... i've been learning and experiencing so much in this area. and for all the 'trouble' that has come up, deep inside, i believe it to be worth it.
not just that though, its something so awesome, its to be cherished, sought after, protected, and never reckless. its not something to get so caught up in that it becomes idolized, rather something to nurture along the way. friendship alone, without a journey is merely a passing thought. a journey with a friend is one of life's simplest but most amazing blessings, and that perseveres. maybe i can't be/do all those things all the time, but its something ill always strive for... and i can pinky promise to that.

yea you could say ive been a bit of a foo, even more so cuz i did it to you/
maybe you'll look at me a little different too, but know that im sorry, this much is true/
see, it isnt cool, if i put you in scenes that maybe made ya compromise/
so with an honest mind, i promise i, will turn everything back, and go from wrong to right/
-freewrite, me

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within the next month, be on the lookout for some new song releases from yours truly.

i dont think ive ever been this unhappy/unsatisfied with the way things are...
is this a sign of growth or a sign of immaturity?

i dont think ive ever been this confused. im unsure of what i want... im unsure of what i need.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
-my immortal, evanescence

*sigh*...
i hope this doesnt last long...
one step at a time. one day at a time.

im bizack. hah. t.nuna indirectly said i was a 'gangster-wannabe-thug' or something to that degree, so i suppose if the shoe fits ill wear it. word izzup.

ok enough of that. yes, im back in school. school's for fools. not really, im just a fool regardless. im just not ready for this semester. i dont feel capABLE.... im seriously dragging my feet about this semester starting. i've never been like this before.

as soon as i got back on campus, i didnt even unpack, i just plugged in my computer and started downloading everything ive been wanting to download since i went home 6 weeks ago. yay for college OC3 internet.

its snowing like crazy outside. im not excited. i guess im just not excited to be back. im seriously weary all ready. nevermind i just started out weary. im not ready.

ok whatever, random picture time.


word.

56k at home = no desire to use the internet = lack of updates.

anyhow, happy new years everyone.
lets run with all we got. its gonna be a good year.